Harry's Past & the Marauder's Future
by TheDivineMsEm
Summary: Injustice was done at Hogwarts. Through many a miscalculation, James, Lily, Remus, Sirius and many of their friends perished in the fight against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But, all is not lost. The younger generation must go back. They must go back and, with help from key allies and true friends, change the course of wizarding history.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! I am alive, and the reason I haven't been around is because I just finished my last year of high school, with fairly reasonable aplomb, if I do say so. So there will be no excuses, no begging for your forgiveness. I've simply been living life, and FanFiction had to take a back seat for a bit. But enough of that – lets get down to business!**

**DISCLAIMER: Any and all known references/examples of the literary work of J.K. Rowling is not mine. I do not intend to infringe on any copyright agreements, and I am well aware it is only through her goodness that we are allowed to write Harry Potter fanfiction. As such, this is an example of my own work. I own this, and if I choose to publish it online, it should not be removed. It is an expression of my own interpretations. Enjoy : D**

**Lily's POV**

"Mistress Lily, it is time to be getting up now," I heard a squeaky voice at my side as I reluctantly awoke from my slumber. Becoming more aware of my surroundings, I felt around the bed for my boyfriend of almost three years James Potter, quickly realizing he wasn't next to me as he had been last night.

"Mistress Lily, Master James is down in the dining room with Masters Sirius and Remus. He asked me to come get you at 9:00am if you had not risen yet," said the chirpy voice I had now identified as Molly, the house elf that James told me would help me with anything I needed at Potter Manor. I was more than a little shocked when I had first stayed at James' mansion and there had been so many house elfs. I didn't like the idea at all that these little creatures were basically slaves; but then I realised that the Potters paid them, and they worked in shifts, and my conscience was eased.

As Molly led me to the dining room, I smiled, thinking back on this summer. As we had done every summer since James and I had started dating, the four boys and I were spending July and August with James' family. Usually Peter left after a couple of weeks, so now it was just Remus, Sirius, James and I, and I was very excited, because today I had convinced them to spend some time with me in the Potters' fabulous library. Well, really I think James had just felt sorry for me and made the other two boys stay with us.n

A half hour later found me and Remus sitting in big arm chairs reading, while James was making a paper plane fly around the room and Sirius was searching through the library for something "fun". **(A/N: Imagine the Gryffindor common room, only as a library, but with all the chairs)**

"I could've been playing Quidditch right now," Sirius' voice floated over from behind a shelf.

"Sirius, that stuff outside, that's called rain," Remus said as he idly turned a page.

"Your point?" Sirius asked, poking his head around the corner.

Remus and I shared a look as Sirius disappeared once more. A little while later Sirius called out, "James, I thought you guys didn't have any other Potter relatives.

James looked up and walked over to Sirius' voice. "Yeah, why?"

"Well, there's a book called _Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone,_" he said, causing Remus and I to put down our books and look towards the two boys, who were walking towards us.

Just then a flash of light went through the room and a Sphinx patronus appeared, speaking in a distinctly female voice.

"_My name is Fate, and I'm writing to you along with my brothers Hope and Time. Suffice to say, the future isn't all it's cracked up to be. Things have gone wrong, and to fix them you four need to read these chronicles of the life of Harry Potter, starting the first year he attended Hogwarts. You mustn't inform Peter Pettigrew of these events, and if anyone appears from the future they are to read the books with you. These two rules must be obeyed, as our world hangs in the balance. No pressure._

_Yours sincerely, Fate, Hope and Time"_

Everyone simply stared off at the spot the sphinx had just disappeared from. "Well that was interesting," Remus said.

"Hang on a second," I said, thinking quickly, "if we're reading about a boy called Harry Potter, and James doesn't have any other relatives, that means this boy must be-" I stutter, trailing off, looking wide-eyed at James.

No one says anything, until Sirius shouts, "Jily baby!"

The tension breaks for a second as everyone laughs a little, but I don't break eye contact with James as he comes over and kneels before me.

"I was going to do this on your birthday next week, but I think now that it looks like we have a son, I might as well do it now," he said, taking my hands in his.

"Do what?" I asked quietly, though I bet I had a good idea as to what he was referring to.

"Lily Marie Evans," he said as he let go of my hands and reached into his pocket for a tell-tale box, "you've been my soulmate since I was 11 years old. For nearly two years now you've let me show you how much I love you, and I wake up each and every day and think about how lucky I am to have you in my life. I know we're young, but when I think about my life at 40, or at 80, or at 150, I never fail to see you at my side. So, I ask you today, in front of our two best friends," he said, sparing a glance at a grinning Sirius and Remus, "will you do my the immeasurable honour of becoming my wife?" he asked, his gold eyes sparkling in that adorable way, his crooked smile lighting up his features.

I feel my eyes well up with tears. I quickly wiped my eyes as I chuckled. "I can't believe I waited all those years before going out with you!" I said, semi-hysterically. All the boys chuckled a bit at that one.

"Is that a yes?" James asked me, smiling a little wider.

"Of course it is, you big dummy!" I said, pushing his shoulder affectionately, "now let's see this ring."

He laughed, leaning up to kiss me quickly, before opening the box, and showing me a gorgeous emerald on a gold band, surrounded by diamonds. As he slipped it on my finger he said to me, "you know, this belonged to my grandmother. The first time I came home and told them you had said yes, she gave me this and told me to give it to the special woman who held my heart. And that woman will always be you."

"Come here you!" I said, standing and gripping James in a warm embrace, knowing I never wanted to let go.

"OK you two, why don't we start reading now?" Remus asked laughing as he clapped James on the back and gave me a kiss on the cheek, Sirius following his lead.

"Future Mrs. Potter, do you want to do the honours?" Sirius asked, holding the book out to me as I sat back in my armchair, sitting in James' lap.

"Only because you hate reading," I said, rolling my eyes at him, "but yes, I shall."

I cleared my throat and began. "**CHAPTER ONE : THE BOY WHO LIVED"**

"Well doesn't that sound ominous," Sirius said, smirking.

"Are you going to comment the whole way through?" I asked, raising my eyebrow quizzically.

"Probably," he said with a shrug. I decided to overlook this; it was simply another of Sirius' many mischievous traits.

But before I could continue, yet another flash of light exploded in the middle of the room. "I'm really getting tired of this," Sirius said loudly.

When the light cleared we were able to see two teenagers around our age standing together, arms wrapped around one another. The girl I had never seen before, but the boy was the spitting image of James, except he had my eyes. That meant one thing.

"It can't be possible!" Remus gasped, probably reaching the same point I had.

"Hermione, are you ok?" the boy in question asked his partner, running his hands over her face, looking worried.

"I'm fine Harry," she said nodding, hugging him to her.

"Uh, 'scuse us, random people who we assume are from the future, could you tell us who you are?" Sirius asked, beaming like this was a totally normal situation.

Harry and Hermione looked at everyone, and boy did they look surprised.

"This cannot be happening," I heard Harry whisper to Hermione.

The awkward feeling continued for another couple of seconds, before I walked up to Harry and smiled at him, giving him a hug. "Well, don't I make good looking children," I said as I pulled back.

"Hey, what about me?" James asked, sounding insulted.

"Please, what exactly did you do in the child making process?" I asked, shooting him a gaze.

"Look, if you are Death Eaters, trying to avenge your bloodthirsty monster of a leader," Hermione said, starting off shaky, but sounding more confident as she went, standing protectively in front of Harry, "then this won't work. We have been through too damn much for this shit!"

"Damn if the Potter men don't have good taste in women," Sirius said to Remus.

"Mione, I don't think this is a trap," Harry said, placing a hand on her shoulder, "I have _the_ feeling."

Apparently noticing the emphasis on the 'the' as well, Hermione immediately relaxed into Harry's arms. He shared a smile with her before stepping forward and hugging me to him. I was a little surprised at first, but then I realised this was probably my son from the future, and a sudden indescribable instinct welled up within me, causing me to move my arms to circle his form and hug him back.

"Harry, my baby," I whispered, hugging him tight.

"Mum, you know who I am?" he asked, confused, as he pulled back.

"I do," I said, smiling at him, "I actually think we're about to read about your first year at Hogwarts."

Harry and Hermione shared a look. "So you four don't know what's happened during my life?" he asked, somewhat cautiously.

"No," Remus said, "should we know something?"

Again a look was shared between Harry and Hermione. "I think we should all begin reading, and discuss events when we come to them," Hermione said slowly, tugging Harry's hand over to a chair. Everyone settled, though there was a tense air in the room, and I began to read.

"**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense."**

"Dursley, that's the last name of my sister's boyfriend" I exclaimed, "this is definitely talking about us James!" I said, looking over my shoulder at my equally surprised fiancee.

"**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache. Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, which came in very useful as she spent so much of her time craning over garden fences, spying on the neighbors."**

"Oh, if that isn't an accurate description, I don't know what is," I said, giggling.

"I think I remember Dursley," James said, "looks like a rhino on pepper up potion."

"Oh definitely," Harry said, laughing.

"**The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere."**

"That's their opinion," Hermione said haughtily.

"**The Dursleys had everything they wanted, but they also had a secret, and their greatest fear was that somebody would discover it. They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be."**

At this point I snorted, and looked at everyone trying not to laugh. "Trust me, being unDursleyish is a very good thing," I said.

"I think we should meet this Dursley fellow," Sirius said, a faraway look in his eyes.

"I do believe you're right Sirius," Remus said.

"As long as I get to be there when you do," Harry said, grinning, "I could use a good laugh."

"**The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street." **

"Well, it sounds like a plan," Sirius said, grinning evilly.

"**The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that."**

"You probably did Dudley a world of good," Hermione grumbled.

"He turned out alright towards the end," Harry said, nudging her with his shoulder.

"So we did end up introducing you to Petunia?" I asked Harry, to which he and Hermione shared a look.

"You...could say that," Harry answered, but he refused to say any more on the subject, so I let it drop. I assumed it would come up in the book, and he wasn't speaking for a reason.

"**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, gray Tuesday our story starts, there was nothing about the cloudy sky outside to suggest that strange and mysterious things would soon be happening all over the country. Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work, -"**

"They just sounds so happy, don't they?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes.

"Trust me, Vernon Dursley finds happiness when other people are bored or unhappy," I said, shrugging.

"**-and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair. None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window. At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, pecked Mrs. Dursley on the cheek, and tried to kiss Dudley goodbye but missed, because Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls."**

"Is it strange I don't sympathise with Petunia?" I asked, smiling a little.

"After having lived with her, not at all," Harry said.

"**"Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house. He got into his car and backed out of number four's drive.**

**It was on the corner of the street that he noticed the first sign of something peculiar — a cat reading a map. "**

"Five galleons says that's Minnie!" Sirius cried out.

"Sirius, Professor McGonagall is not the only feline animagus in Britain," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"I'll take that bet, Sirius," James said, laughing, "I'm with Remus on this one."

"Oh the horror, Jamsie old boy!" Sirius cried out, dramatically, "and I'll have you all know that my belief has nothing to do with the fact that Minnie is the only cat animagus I know of. Nothing at all."

"He grows on you," I told Hermione, who was just staring at Sirius, "you know, eventually."

She smiled at me. "Tell me about it. I still remember the first time I met Sirius. Wasn't what you would call joyful," she said, leaning back into Harry as the boys stopped talking about whether the cat was Professor McGonagall.

"**For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen — then he jerked his head around to look again. There was a tabby cat-"**

"It has to be Minnie!" Sirius said.

"Sirius, shut up," hermione said, glaring a little at him. He shrunk back, and I shared a look of respect with her. We women had to stick together.

"**-standing on the corner of Privet Drive, but there wasn't a map in sight. What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light. Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back. As Mr. Dursley drove around the corner and up the road, he watched the cat in his mirror. It was now reading the sign that said Privet Drive — no, **_**looking **_**at the sign; cats couldn't read maps **_**or **_**signs."**

"Unless they're animagi," Sirius said, attempting a wise voice.

"We know that Padfoot," Harry said, laughing at him. Sirius just poked his tongue at harry, before all the boys looked at Harry and Hermione, eyes wide.

"How do you know that name?" Sirius demanded.

Hermione and Harry shared a grin. "Well, after I learned Remus was a werewolf-" Hermione began.

"-and I found out about the Marauder's Map-" Harry said, sharing a look with Hermione.

"-of course we figured out your names-" Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

"-because we knew your animagus forms as well," Harry finished, smiling smugly at the three boys.

It was all I could do to stop myself from bursting out laughing as Remus chuckled, looking at a gobsmacked James and Sirius, "well, they've got you beat. You two were together, but you were never that in sync."

"We've always been like this," hermione said with a shrug, "but I have to admit, the Weasley twins have us beat."

At that moment a note floated down to settle in front of Harry. "_Time has informed me that to speed this process along somewhat, it would be prudent that each person in the room gets to ask one question of Harry. Harry must answer to the best of his ability, and that means everything, young man. Cheers, Fate,_" Harry said, rolling his eyes towards the end.

"She hasn't changed at all," he said, and when everyone looked at him strangely he elaborated, "I met Fate several times throughout Hogwarts, though I'm not sure if we'll read about that throughout the books. So, go ahead, ask away."

Everyone shared looks, wondering what to ask. "Do I have children in the future?" Remus asked, almost nervously.

Harry smiled at that question. "You do, and before you ask, you didn't pass on any side effects of your lycanthropy, you had him checked out at birth. His name is Teddy Remus Lupin."

Remus nodded, seemingly satisfied, and Hermione went next. "Why don't you want me to be with Ron?" she asked, a strange lilt to her voice.

Harry looked truly surprised at this. "Why wouldn't I want you to be with Ron?" he asked, trying to sound confused, I think, but I have a feeling he was lying.

Harry scratched his head, looking anywhere but at Hermione. Finally he sighed, and looked back at her, making eye contact as the rest of us sat by and watched, captivated by the tension. "Ron isn't good enough for you," Harry said at last, "in fact, he's completely wrong. He is an idiot who insults you at every turn. He doesn't understand how beautiful you are, or how smart you can be. He doesn't know about your bravery, and your loyalty." Harry took a breath here, looking at Hermione with such honesty in his eyes, it brought me to tears. James looked so proud of Harry, that it took my breath away.

"I honestly don't think anyone will ever be good enough, but there is definitely someone better than Ron," he said, leaning away and breaking eye contact with Hermione to place his arms on his knees and put his forehead i his hands.

I made eye contact with Sirius and Remus, who looked to be waiting with baited breath for something to happen, hoping it went in Harry's favour.

Hermione wiped her eyes, and reached out to Harry. "Oh Harry, you silly, silly man! I only _pretended _to have an interest in Ron so you could notice me!"

Harry turned to Hermione, and his whole face simply lit up. He leaned forward and captured Hermione's lips with his own, and a small 'aww' escaped my lips. Suddenly a golden light enveloped them, and they broke apart in confusion. Everyone just looked around, feeling very confused.

Remus and I, however, were looking at each other with mouths wide open. "it can't be!" I gasped.

"What else could that have been?" Remus asked.

"Wait, _what_ is with all these glowing lights?!" Sirius asked.

"Trust us, we'll explain everything at the end of the chapter," I said, "it's too much to go into now."

"OK, so, my question is next then," sirius said, leaning back and smirking, "how many rules have you broken at Hogwarts?"

Harry and Hermione shared a grin and Harry said to Sirius, "every single one."

Sirius stared, gobsmacked. "Even the one about entering other common rooms?"

"Oh yeah," Harry said, a purely evil grin on his face, "and there's no way I'm telling you how to as well."

"That's cruel Pup," Sirius said, holding a hand over his heart, "as your favourite Godfather, I have the right to know."

"Favourite?" Remus asked incredulously, only Sirius ignored him.

"A true prankster would be able to find it himself," Hermione said to Harry, though we all knew she was talking to Sirius, "I'm just saying."

"Do you play Quidditch?" James asks.

"I'm the Seeker for the Gryffindor team," Harry said, bumping fists with James, "joined my first year."

"You know, I think Harry's actually cooler than the two of you combined," Remus said with a grin.

"OK, my turn, then we continue reading," I said, re-adjusting my position in James' lap, "what were your scores on your O.W.L.s?" I asked, staring intensely at him.

Hermione laughed and Harry grinned. "You are so like my Hermione (Hermione grinning when she heard the "my") that it's scary. I'm pretty sure I got E's in everything except for Divination and History of Magic, which I didn't pass, Astronomy, where I got an A and DADA where I got an O."

"Oh, an O!" I said, clapping happily, "I'm so proud, even if you didn't pass History of Magic and Divination, the latter of which is a completely useless subject, I assure you."

"I completely agree," said Hermione.

"Well, that's everyone," Remus said, "go on Lils."

"**Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. As he drove toward town he thought of nothing except a large order of drills he was hoping to get that day. But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else. As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn't help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks."**

"That's strange," Remus said, "usually the Ministry of Magic keeps a tighter rein on that."

"**Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes — the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren't young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak!"**

"I happen to love the colour emerald," Hermione said cheekily, pecking Harry on the lips.

"Oh great, now we have two of them," Sirius said dramatically.

"**The nerve of him! But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt —these people were obviously collecting for something…yes, that would be it. The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. If he hadn't, he might have found it harder to concentrate on drills that morning."**

"I don't know how he concentrates on drills at all!" James said, looking confused.

"It doesn't seem like a very exciting career path," I agreed.

"Personally, it's the Auror force for me," James said, puffing out his chest a tad with pride, Sirius and Remus agreeing with him.

"I considered that as well," Harry said, "but then I thought about teaching Defence."

"I'm so proud of you Harry," Hermione said, grasping his hand, "me, I've always wanted to go into the Ministry, and work on changing laws regarding magical creatures, like Werewolves for example," she said laughing, winking at Remus who sent her a grin.

"I always wanted to be a Healer," I said.

"_**He **_**didn't see the owls swooping past in broad daylight, though people down in the street did; they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead. Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. Mr. Dursley, however, had a perfectly normal, owl-free morning. He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more. "**

"I don't know how you lived with him for so long, Harry, I really don't," Hermione said, shaking her head.

"It wasn't without effort, I assure you," Harry said, laughing.

"**He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery."**

"Because, you know, he's done so much hard work," Sirius said dryly.

"**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks until he passed a group of them next to the baker's. He eyed them angrily as he passed. He didn't know why, but they made him uneasy. This bunch were whispering excitedly, too, and he couldn't see a single collecting tin. It was on his way back past them, clutching a large doughnut in a bag, that he caught a few words of what they were saying.**

**"The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard —"**

**"—yes, their son, Harry —"**

"I have a bad feeling about this," James mumbled from behind me.

"I know," I agreed, "so do I."

"It can't be too bad," Sirius said, trying to placate us.

"**Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it."**

"The mere thought of being related to us must've been absolutely _horrible_," I said sarcastically.

"It probably was," James said, "from the way he sounds in this book, he hasn't changed much from the last time we met."

"I still can't believe you'd bring Harry to meet them," Remus said, shaking his head.

I wondered what the look that Harry sent Hermione was about.

"**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, snapped at his secretary not to disturb him, seized his telephone, and had almost finished dialing his home number when he changed his mind. He put the receiver back down and stroked his mustache-"**

Sirius just snickered.

"**-thinking…no, he was being stupid. Potter wasn't such an unusual name. He was sure there were lots of people called Potter who had a son called Harry. Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew **_**was **_**called Harry. He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold."**

"Like I'd let you name my son Harold, or Harvey," I snorted, "just like Sirius is not going to be his only Godparent."

"And why not?" Sirius asked in a slight outrage.

"Because _I'm_ the responsible one," Remus said smugly.

"That does make sense," james said contemplatively.

Sirius gasped. "You've turned on me, you've all turned on me."

"Don't worry Sirius, we still love you," hermione said laughing, indicating her and Harry.

"Thank you!" Sirius said, still giving us the angry eyes.

"**There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister. He didn't blame her — if **_**he'd **_**had a sister like that…but all the same, those people in cloaks… He found it a lot harder to concentrate on drills that afternoon and when he left the building at five o'clock, he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door. "Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak."**

"Probably isn't so sorry now, the big walrus," Harry said.

"He really has an unfavourable view of all things magic, doesn't he?" Remus asked, apparently in wonder.

"Well, from what I know of the man, it seems he doesn't like anything that has the possibility of being abnormal," Hermione, frowning, "and that includes magic."

"He's ignorant about our ways, and ignorance breeds fear," I explained, "it's basically a lost cause."

"**He didn't seem at all upset at being almost knocked to the ground. On the contrary, his face split into a wide smile and he said in a squeaky voice that made passersby stare, "Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"**

"You-Know-Who is gone?" Remus asked, shocked.

I quickly looked at Harry and Hermione and saw them nod, though I could tell they were still hiding something.

"Well at least the future's looking a little brighter now," Sirius said, smiling, and I made myself smile back with James and Remus, even though I felt a tug at the bottom of my stomach.

"**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off. Mr. Dursley stood rooted to the spot. He had been hugged by a complete stranger. He also thought he had been called a Muggle, whatever that was. He was rattled. He hurried to his car and set off for home, hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination."**

"Oh no, imagination!" Sirius cried out, standing and holding his hand to his forehead. "Help me James! get it away from me!" He said, throwing himself at our feet.

James just laughed from behind me. "Suck it up mate."

Sirius got up, shaking his head. "Figures. I wonder what you would do if I was actually dying."

"I would try and save you, dumbass," James said, laughing, "but only after I was made the beneficiary in your will, in case you didn't make it."

"Thanks Prongs, you're all heart," Sirius said sarcastically.

"**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw—and it didn't improve his mood — was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. It was now sitting on his garden wall. He was sure it was the same one; it had the same markings around its eyes."**

"Markings; that's gotta be McGonagall!" Sirius cried out, "they're her spectacles."

**"Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

"Oh wouldn't you love to be able to do that to Minnie," Remus grinned.

"Yeah, but I love my life just a little more," Harry said, laughing.

"**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look. Was this normal cat behavior? Mr. Dursley wondered. Trying to pull himself together, he let himself into the house. He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife."**

"The recipe for any successful marriage; lying," James said. I turned around and raised an eyebrow at him. "But of course, that won't happen in ours," he said, changing track and shaking his head rapidly.

"**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!"). Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. When Dudley had been put to bed, he went into the living room in time to catch the last report on the evening news: "**_**And finally, bird-watchers everywhere have reported that the nation's owls have been behaving very unusually today. Although owls normally hunt at night and are hardly ever seen in daylight, there have been hundreds of sightings of these birds flying in every direction since sunrise. **_**"**

"Something's happened, something big," Remus muttered, his brow furrowing.

I once again glanced at Hermione and Harry's stoic expressions.

"_**Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?" **_

**"**_**Well, Ted," said the weatherman, "I don't know about that, but it's not only the owls that have been acting oddly today. Viewers as far apart as Kent, Yorkshire, and Dundee have been phoning in to tell me that instead of the rain I promised yesterday, they've had a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early — it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."**_

"**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? And a whisper, a whisper about the Potters…"**

"This is bad, I can feel it James," I said, looking at James as I chewed my lip, "I have my gut feeling."

James' expression changed immediately; my feelings were never questioned. I saw him exchange a look with Sirius and Remus, who shared his expression.

"Are you sure there's nothing you can tell us?" Remus asked.

Harry and Hermione shared a look that seemed to convey a thousand words. Finally, Harry answered. "I think that's it best to leave the explanation to the book. I don't think I can do it."

"**Mrs. Dursley came into the living room carrying two cups of tea. It was no good. He'd have to say something to her. He cleared his throat nervously. "Er — Petunia, dear — you haven't heard from your sister lately, have you?" As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister."**

"Bitch," Hermione said, and I couldn't help but grin at her, because I could already tell that swearing wasn't a big part of her behaviour.

"What?" she asked, raising her hands when everyone looked at her, amazed, "there's no way she's going to talk about Mum that way!" I teared up and sent her a grateful smile.

"I am very lucky then to have a daughter that defends me so well," I said and we shared a grin.

**"No," she said sharply. "Why?"**

**"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls…shooting stars…and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today…"**

**"**_**So?**_**" snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**"Well, I just thought…maybe…it was something to do with…you know…**_**her **_**crowd."**

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare. Instead he said, as casually as he could, " Their son — he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"**

**"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

**"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"**

**"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."**

"Harry is an excellent name," I said, interrupting myself, "I always wanted to name my child Harry."

"I always wanted a James Junior," James said, shrugging.

"Let's be honest Prongs; that was never going to happen," Sirius said, grinning.

**"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."**

**He didn't say another word on the subject as they went upstairs to bed. While Mrs. Dursley was in the bathroom, Mr. Dursley crept to the bedroom window and peered down into the front garden. The cat was still there."**

"Wouldn't it be cool if Minnie changed in front of him?" Siriu said, cackling semi-madly.

"Sirius, it may not be her," Remus said, shaking his head.

"You willing to put money on that, Moony?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

Remus pondered that for a moment. "Three galleons says it isn't Minnie," he said finally.

Sirius grinned, shaking his hand. "I feel bad taking your money like this, man."

"**It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something. Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did…if it got out that they were related to a pair of — well, he didn't think he could bear it. "**

"I'm really going to enjoy meeting your family, Lils," Sirius said, sharing a downright evil grin with Remus and James.

"**The Dursleys got into bed. Mrs. Dursley fell asleep quickly but Mr. Dursley lay awake, turning it all over in his mind. His last, comforting thought before he fell asleep was that even if the Potters **_**were **_**involved, there was no reason for them to come near him and Mrs. Dursley."**

"Well, apart from revenge - revenge is a pretty big thing," Sirius said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"**The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind…He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on — he yawned and turned over —it couldn't affect **_**them**_**…"**

"I'm going to enjoy this particular expedition of revenge," Remus said, fist bumping Sirius.

"**How very wrong he was. Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness. It was sitting as still as a statue, its eyes fixed unblinkingly on the far corner of Privet Drive. It didn't so much as quiver when a car door slammed on the next street, nor when two owls swooped overhead. In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all."**

****"Well, it's definitely an animagus," I said.

"**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground. The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed."**

"Money, money, money, always funny!" Sirius sang under his breath.

"**Nothing like this man had ever been seen on Privet Drive. He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt. He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots. His blue eyes were light, bright, and sparkling behind half-moon spectacles and his nose was very long and crooked, as though it had been broken at least twice."**

"DUMBLEDORE!" several of the boys shouted at once.

"**This man's name was Albus Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome."**

"Of course he wouldn't," I said, letting out a small giggle.

"Mum," Hermione said, looking unbelievably sad, "I think it's best if I read from now." She held out her hand for the book, and everyone bar Harry looked confused.

"Trust her Mum," Harry chimed in, "I would read myself, but there's something coming up shortly that's going to be very hard for all of us to listen to."

Hesitantly I handed her the book, before nudging James over so we were sitting side by side on the big armchair. I nestled into his shoulder as he placed an arm around me.

"**He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. But he did seem to realize he was being watched, because he looked up suddenly at the cat, which was still staring at him from the other end of the street. For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known." He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter. He flicked it open, held it up in the air, and clicked it. The nearest street lamp went out with a little pop. He clicked it again — the next lamp flickered into darkness."**

"Damn if that wouldn't be handy during pranks!" Sirius exclaimed.

"**Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer, until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him. If anyone looked out of their window now, even beady-eyed Mrs. Dursley, they wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement. Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat. He didn't look at it, but after a moment he spoke to it.**

**"Fancy seeing you here, Professor McGonagall."**

"YES!" Sirius actually stood up out of his chair and did a victory dance, swinging his arms around in circles above his head and cheering and whooping, "pay up Prongs old boy!" He held his hand out expectantly as James reluctantly reached into his pocket.

"**He turned to smile at the tabby, but it had gone. Instead he was smiling at a rather severe-looking woman who was wearing square glasses exactly the shape of the markings the cat had had around its eyes. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one. Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled. "How did you know it was me?" she asked."**

"No other cat would sit so stiffly," James said, snickering.

Hermione laughed. "Don't worry, you'll see why in a second."

**"My dear Professor, I've never seen a cat sit so stiffly."**

Everyone else laughed as well.

**"You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

**"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."**

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

"Does she ever sniff in another way?" Sirius asked, laughing.

**"Oh yes, everyone's celebrating, all right," she said impatiently. "You'd think they'd be a bit more careful, but no — even the Muggles have noticed something's going on. It was on their news." She jerked her head back at the Dursleys' dark living-room window. "I heard it. Flocks of owls…shooting stars…Well, they're not completely stupid. They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent — I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."**

Everyone snickered at that, as it was obvious to anyone that had met Dedalus, that this was very likely.

**"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

"Eleven years," Remus said, and I could see him counting in his head, "Voldemort has been around for nine years. This happens in two years!" he cries out, looking wide-eyed and slightly alarmed at Hermione and Harry, who just nod grimly.

"I have a really bad feeling about this," Sirius said, joy completely gone from his face.

"I've had a bad feeling all chapter," I grumbled, leaning into James' side.

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably. "But that's no reason to lose our heads. People are being downright careless, out on the streets in broad daylight, not even dressed in Muggle clothes, swapping rumors." She threw a sharp, sideways glance at Dumbledore here, as though hoping he was going to tell her something, but he didn't, so she went on. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who seems to have disappeared -"**

Complete silence met this remark before everyone jumped up and cheered, except for Hermione and Harry, who, if possible, looked even sadder than before.

"Hang on a second," Remus said, apparently catching on to what I already had, "why aren't you two celebrating? At what cost do we no longer live under Voldemort's reign?"

"You'll know soon enough," Harry said, sounding absolutely miserable.

"**-at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really **_**has **_**gone, Dumbledore?"**

**"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"**

A kind of nervous laugh went throughout the group. "Dumbledore did always love his lemon drops," Hermione said, her eyes watering. What had happened in the future?

**"A **_**what**_**?"**

**"A lemon drop. They're a kind of Muggle sweet I'm rather fond of."**

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops. "As I say, even if You-Know-Who **_**has **_**gone—"**

**"My dear Professor, surely a sensible person like yourself can call him by his name? All this 'You-Know-Who' nonsense — for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: **_**Voldemort**_**." Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "**

"Dumbledore notices everything," James said, "he just chose not to comment. He's very sneaky that way."

**"It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."**

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself," everyone in the room recited, sharing a small smile.

**"I know you haven't," said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring. "But you're different. Everyone knows you're the only one You-Know- oh, all right, **_**Voldemort**_**, was frightened of."**

"Damn straight," James muttered.

"'Ain't that the truth?" Sirius asked, shaking his head.

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

"That's because Albus is just too noble," I said.

**"Only because you're too — well —**_**noble **_**to use them."**

"Now who's like Minnie?" James asked, poking his tongue at me.

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."**

"I can only imagine how that conversation ended," Sirius said, a not so subtle wink accompanying his words.

"**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said "The owls are nothing next to the **_**rumors **_**that are flying around. You know what they're saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?"**

The four of us from the past waited with breaths held to see what had finally stopped Voldemort.

"**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, the real reason she had been waiting on a cold, hard wall all day, for neither as a cat nor as a woman had she fixed Dumbledore with such a piercing stare as she did now. It was plain that whatever "everyone" was saying, she was not going to believe it until Dumbledore told her it was true." **

"It must be really bad," James said, shaking his head.

"**Dumbledore, however, was choosing another lemon drop and did not answer.**

**"What they're **_**saying**_**," she pressed on, "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters."**

I saw Harry's and Hermione eyes pool with tears and I had a suspicious feeling about where this was going. I shared a scared look with James.

"**The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are — are — that they're — **_**dead**_**."**

I couldn't hold it in any more, and I burst into tears. I felt James hug me too him, and I could feel his tears wetting my hair as we clung to each other. I looked up to see Harry crying into Hermione's shoulder as she slowly rubbed circles into his back. Remus looked devastated and Sirius simply shook his head as if he didn't believe it.

I couldn't take it; seeing Sirius in tears was the last straw. I stood and walked over to Sirius and engulfed him in a hug, our tears mingling together. My head came up to see Remus and James in a similar embrace, and we all came together in a big group hug.

When I saw Harry looking utterly upset, my heart broke into a million more pieces, and I brought him and Hermione into our group hug. It was a couple more minutes before we were all composed enough to continue reading.

"We're going to change the future," harry said with conviction, "I haven't fought this hard to give up now." I sniffled as I looked at my son, eyes watering, with nothing but love and pride.

"**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped. "Lily and James…I can't believe it…I didn't want to believe it…Oh, Albus…"**

"I knew she always liked me the most," James said, trying to lighten the mood.

"In your dreams Prongs," Sirius said, grinning weakly.

"I don't know why you two even entertain the thought that I'm _not_ her favourite," Remus said, rolling his eyes before sharing a smile with his friends.

"**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know…I know…"he said heavily.**

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry. But he couldn't. He couldn't kill that little boy. No one knows why, or how, but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke — and that's why he's gone."**

"You destroyed Voldemort," I said, looking in wonder at Harry, along with the others from the past.

Harry sent me a smile. "_We_ destroyed Voldemort," he said, "I'm not sure when you'll read this, but when Voldemort found us, if you and Dad hadn't been willing to sacrifice yourselves for me, then I never could have survived, and Voldemort never would have died. It was you guys."

I hugged James, whispering how much I loved him, and thinking how lucky I was to have a man that loved his son so much.

"**Dumbledore nodded glumly. "It's— it's **_**true**_**?" faltered Professor McGonagall. "After all he's done…all the people he's killed…he couldn't kill a little boy? It's just astounding…of all the things to stop him…but how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?" **

**"We can only guess." said Dumbledore. "We may never know."**

"Dumbledore knows," Sirius said immediately, "that's his 'I'm lying for the greater good' standby"

"**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles. Dumbledore gave a great sniff as he took a golden watch from his pocket and examined it. It was a very odd watch. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge. It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"**

"Wait, why are they leaving you with Petunia?" I asked, bewildered.

"Yeah, why aren't we getting you?" Sirius asked, gesturing to himself and Remus.

"It'll all be explained," Harry assured us, "though I doubt you'll like it."

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me **_**why **_**you're here, of all places?"**

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."**

"NO!" I yelled, actually jumping out of the chair.

"Lily, calm down-" James said, trying to calm me down.

"No James, you don't understand!" I said, shaking his hand off, "Petunia hates magic, she despises it." I turned and looked at Harry. "What did she do to you? I asked, almost afraid to know the answer.

"It's in the past, I don't like to talk about it," Harry said, uncomfortably. "it's enough that the five of you are going to hear this, I don't want to explain."

Five of us? he hadn't even told Hermione?

**"You don't mean – you **_**can't **_**mean the people who live **_**here**_**?" cried Professor McGonagall, jumping to her feet and pointing at number four. "Dumbledore — you can't. I've been watching them all day. You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son — I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!"**

"There have got to be better places," Remus said, shaking his head, "even if we can't look after him, there's gotta be somewhere, _someone_ even, that will take him in."

**"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

"A LETTER?!" I exploded, anger pouring out of every inch of my body as James tried to calm me down.

"Mum, Dumbledore made mistake," Harry said to me once I was sitting down again, "we all have. I realised a short time ago there's no use getting angry at things that have already happened. You need to wand up and deal with the consequences."

There was silence before, of course, Sirius broke it. "Wand up, I like it," he said as he and Harry bumped fists.

**"A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly, sitting back down on the wall. "Really, Dumbledore, you think you can explain all this in a letter? These people will never understand him! He'll be famous — a legend — I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future-"**

"Wouldn't that be funny Harry?" Hermione asked, laughing.

Harry grinned as well. "The twins would bring out a whole new line of merchandise."

"— **there will be books written about Harry — every child in our world will know his name!"**

"That one did happen," Harry said, causing the boys to laugh.

"It was horrible," Hermione said, "they either idolized him for things they didn't know about or understand, or hated him for things he didn't do!"

"Ah, the life of a celebrity," Sirius said.

**"Exactly." said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. "It would be enough to turn any boy's head. Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"**

"I don't hate the upbringing I had," harry said slowly, as if trying to put his feelings into words, "I wish it had been better, but it could've been worse."

"How?" Hermione asked, glaring slightly at Harry, "I don't know everything, but what I do know is really bad."

"Because I'm alive, I have family, friends and a beautiful girlfriend," here he kissed Hermione sweetly on the cheek, "and Voldemort is gone, allowing me and my family to live in peace. That's why, Mione."

"**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes — yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

"It wouldn't surprise me in the least," Remus said, chuckling.

**"Hagrid's bringing him."**

"I'm sure that went over well with the Professor," I said, laughing.

**"You think it —**_**wise**_**—to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"**

**"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.**

"So would I," Sirius agreed, "secrets, probably not, but my life, sure." Everyone just laughed at him.

**"I'm not saying his heart isn't in the right place," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not careless. He does tend to — what was that?"**

**A low rumbling sound had broken the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky — and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

"Wouldn't that be cool to own?" Sirius asked, stars in his eyes.

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and at least five times as wide. He looked simply too big to be allowed, and so **_**wild**_**—long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of trash can lids, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. **

"I have very rarely heard such an accurate description of Hagrid," James said, laughing.

**In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets. "Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."**

"Hang on a second," Sirius said, holding up his hand, "if I'm well enough to give Hagrid my bike, why can't I take Harry?"

Harry grimaced. "You're not going to like this, but I really had to go to the Dursleys. It was for my protection, and it did protect me, in the end."

**"No problems, were there?"**

**"No, sir — house was almost destroyed-"**

I cringed a little when I heard this.

"**-but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol." Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

Harry lifted up his hair, probably used to doing so, I would assume. There it was, a lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

"At least it looks cool," Sirius said, trying to put a positive light on it.

"It is," Harry agreed, "until people start staring and whispering and such. Then it's annoying."

**"Is that where —?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."**

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground."**

"Because Dumbledore frequented the London Underground so often," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"**Well — give him here, Hagrid — we'd better get this over with." Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house. "Could I — could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

"At least he has Hagrid," I said, sharing a smile with Harry.

**"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "You'll wake the Muggles!"**

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it —Lily an' James dead — an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles —"**

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep-"**

"He won't even wake them uP?!" I hissed angrily.

"-**took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

"Well, at least he didn't want to leave you there," James said, trying to put a positive spin on the news, showing again why I loved him.

**"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

**"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I best get this bike away. G'night, Professor McGonagall — Professor Dumbledore, sir."**

**Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night. "I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply. Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer. He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out a tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four."**

Here I couldn't help it and burst into tears all over again.

**"Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

**A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up."**

"Very little can disrupt Harry in his sleep," Hermione said, grinning at Harry, who just blushed.

"And how would you know that, Mione?" Sirius asked.

Hermione just winked, causing Harry to laugh. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"**One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley…" **

"Say what you will Harry," Hermione said, shaking her head, "but Dudley was rotten."

"**He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter — the boy who lived!"**

Hermione marked the page and set the book down on the small coffee table. Everyone sighed collectively, and we all wondered what to do next, until James stood up and said, "I think it's a good idea if we convene to the kitchen. We can get some coffee or tea, whichever everyone prefers, and we can discuss what the glow surrounding Harry and Hermione was." And with that, everyone stood, still in a state of shock at what we had just learnt.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm introducing a really new concept, and I hope you guys aren't too opposed to it. I am already anticipating the shocked reviews!**

**Thank you muchly to BARON2462 and AngelinaRoongta for being the first two recorded reviews for this story!**

**Harry's POV**

We all trooped downstairs to the kitchen to have a cup of tea while Mum and Remus explained to everyone why Hermione and I had been glowing. Sirius ran into the kitchen ahead of everyone, looking for something.

"Tibby, my darling!" Sirius called out, looking among the cooking elves, "where are you?"

Instantly, a female house elf appeared at his side, beaming up at him. Oh no, what had Sirius done to the elf?

"What will Master Sirius be needing from the kitchen today?" she asked, grinning widely at him.

He fell to his knees in front of the elf. "Please Tibby, please make me chocolate pancakes! I am having serious cravings right now!"

Tibby popped away and 10 minutes later everyone was seated, Sirius happily munching on a chocolate covered pancake. "Well, if I'm not mistaken, and I don't believe that I am, what we witnessed was a soul bond," Remus said, jumping right into it.

Mum nodded. "Harry and Hermione, you two have both found your soulmate. From what I've seen, you two have the first of two different types of bonds. You two have a romantic bond, which means that you have literally found your partner for life. The one who understands you more than anyone else. You are married in the eyes of the magical world; you would logically go back to your time to find a contract in the Department of Registries."

"You also can mentally communicate, and share knowledge through your bond," Remus said, "now, the other type of bond is more of a protection bond. When someone is in need of help, or they are in danger, or even both, their magic will reach out to their surrounds and find the person who understands what they are going through, and can help them most."

Mum and Remus shared a look, before Mum cleared her throat and spoke. "After your Grandparents died in my third year, my magic bonded me to your Uncle Remus." I saw Dad and Sirius look very confused, and Dad opened his mouth as if to speak, before Mum spoke before he could get a word in. "James, it was simply a protection bond. Remus' father passed before he started school, you know that, so it made sense."

Remus scratched his head. "We went to Dumbledore, which is why we have all this information. Basically all the bond means is that I have to protect Lily for as long as I'm able to. We're sorry for keeping it from you."

Dad smiled first at Mum, then at Moony. "Guys, I was just going to say that I understand. If anyone was going to protect and understand Lily, it would've been Remus. Besides, I know that there's nothing between you two." With that he leant over and kissed Mum, and as they parted they just smiled at each other.

"I love you," I heard Mum whisper.

We dawdled for a little more, talking about the whole soulmate thing. Apparently Moony and Mum couldn't communicate through their minds or anything to the extent that Mione and I could, but if Mum was in danger, Remus would always be able to find her to protect her.

Eventually everyone made their way back into the library, Tibby bringing us all cold drinks and sweets. I grabbed the book before Sirius could. "I think it's a good idea for me to read this chapter," I said, holding the book firmly as I leant back in my chair, "let's just say there's some things you guys may find...outrageous."

I cleared my throat in the awkward silence before I began.

"**The Vanishing Glass. Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same-"**

"I really don't know how they live like this," Dad said. "The same thing for years and years. I could never do it."

"**-as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets -"**

Mione snorted. "That's a generous description for him," she said.

"You know, I'm sensing a whole lot of hostility Mione," Sirius said as he waved his hand in Mione's direction, "not good at all. Increases the speed of aging."

Mione just threw him a look filled with wonder. "I wonder Sirius, how you're so smart sometimes." This shocked everyone, as I think everyone was expecting her to throw some clever insult at him.

Sirius also looked confused, but quickly recovered. "Yeah, well-"

Mione interrupted him, quickly looking annoyed. "I wonder because your huge ego seems to take up most of the room in your head." This caused everyone to laugh and Sirius looked a bit miffed.

"**-but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too."**

"I have a feeling I'm about to be very angry at Petunia," I heard Mum mutter to Dad.

"**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. His Aunt Petunia was awake and it was her shrill voice that made the first noise of the day.**

"**Up! Get up! Now!"**

**Harry woke with a start. His aunt rapped on the door again."**

"Bloody hell!" Sirius said, "I reckon Petunia's at least as bad as my mother, and she was no picnic."

"**Up!" she screeched. Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove. He rolled onto his back and tried to remember the dream he had been having. It had been a good one. There had been a flying motorcycle in it. He had a funny feeling he'd had the same dream before."**

"Yes!" Sirius cheered, though I wasn't too sure he was cheering because I remembered something, or if it was because I had mentioned his bike.

"**His aunt was back outside the door. **"**Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

"**Nearly," said Harry.**

"**Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."**

"Did she really just call him 'Duddy'?" Dad asked, snickering.

"Oh Duddy!" Remus cried.

"Duddy Dear!" Sirius joined in, Mum laughing at all three of them.

"**Harry groaned. **"**What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

"**Nothing, nothing…"**

**Dudley's birthday — how could he have forgotten? Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them-"**

"I hate spiders," Mum said with a shudder.

"**-put them on. Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept."**

Cacophony was the only word to describe what happened then. Mione was vibrating with anger besides me, Dad and Sirius were swapping various swear words, screaming them at the top of their lungs. Remus was pacing angrily, every once in awhile going to say something before closing his mouth and shaking his head, starting the process over again. Mum was a cross between angry and incredibly sad it seemed.

It took awhile for everyone to settle down, and when they did, everyone was sharing their emotion with someone. Sirius and Remus were sitting closer together, occasionally sharing a glance with each other. Mum was again sitting on Dad's lap, her head resting on his chest. Mione was curled into my side, wiping at her eyes.

"I just don't understand how you went through all that, and made it out," Mum said, shaking her head.

I shrugged. "I did what I had to do," I said, "it was never a case of me having a choice."

'_'You will never have to handle anything like that alone again,'_ Mione sent to me through the bond.

"**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. The table was almost hidden beneath all Dudley's birthday presents. It looked as though Dudley had gotten the new computer he wanted, not to mention the second television and the racing bike." **

"Wait a second," Mum said, sitting up, "you're in a cupboard, and he's getting seconds of expensive gifts?"

"It was always that way in the Dursley household," I said, shrugging.

"**Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise-"**

Everyone laughed at this. I think it was more the matter of fact way I said it, rather than the words.

"**-unless of course it involved punching somebody. Dudley's favorite punching bag was Harry-"**

I saw Sirius' grip on the armchair visibly tighten.

"**-but he couldn't often catch him. Harry didn't look it, but he was very fast. Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age."**

"That did occur to me," Remus said, "because James isn't Weasley tall, but he's still over-average."

"**-He looked even smaller and skinnier than he really was because all he had to wear were old clothes of Dudley's, and Dudley was about four times bigger than he was. Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes. He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose."**

"Honestly?" Sirius said, "the only thing keeping me from throwing a hissy fit worthy of Lucius Malfoy is the fact that we're going to do a number on Dursley when this whole time thing gets straightened out."

"**-The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning. He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

"**In the car crash when your parents died," she had said. "And don't ask questions."**

"They told you we died in a car crash?" Mum asked in outrage.

"She wasn't very creative," I said.

"I cannot believe you weren't allowed to ask questions!" Mione said, sounding outraged.

"They wanted me naive," I said.

'_I'm so glad you didn't end up like that,'_ she said.

"_**Don't ask questions **_**— that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon. **"**Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting. About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper and shouted that Harry needed a haircut." **

"Doesn't he know the Potter hair is untameable?" Sirius snorted, "your mother has certainly tried."

"I'll never forget when she was trying to cut my hair, and she accidentally took too much off," Dad grinned.

"I remember that!" Remus said, "she was so worried that it wouldn't grow back properly. Then you wake up the next day with even more hair!"

"**Harry must have had more haircuts than the rest of the boys in his class put together, but it made no difference, his hair simply grew that way — all over the place."**

"It would be frustrating if it wasn't so cute," Mione said, grinning.

"I know exactly what you mean sweetie," Mum said, laughing, as she ran her fingers through Dad's hair.

He playfully grinned and tried to straighten it out. "I thought you didn't like me playing with my hair; said it made me look full of myself."

"And it does," Mum agreed, before running a hand through Dad's hair and messing it up all over again, "but I never said anything about me playing with it."

"**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley arrived in the kitchen with his mother. Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head. Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel — Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig."**

This got a laugh out of everyone.

"**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, which was difficult as there wasn't much room. Dudley, meanwhile, was counting his presents. His face fell. **"**Thirty-six," he said, looking up at his mother and father. "That's two less than last year."**

"How can anyone be this self-centred?" Mum asked, looking aghast, "and Petunia was relatively nice as a child, before all the magic happened."

"You think this is bad Mum, wait till you meet Draco Malfoy," Mione said, "a whole lot of anger and racism in that boy."

"Though if he hadn't have been exposed to Lucius' teachings from such an early age, I don't think it would have been as bad," I said.

"**Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."**

"**All right, thirty-seven then," said Dudley, going red in the face. Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over."**

Sirius burst out laughing. "I'm sorry," he said, actually wiping a tear from his eye, "the visuals I'm getting from this are hilarious!"

"**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another **_**two **_**presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? **_**Two **_**more presents. Is that all right?"**

"He has all the power in that household, and by the sounds of it he knows how to use it," Remus said, shaking his head.

"**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty…thirty…"**

"**Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

"He just makes it so easy for us to mock him!" SIrius said, "I almost feel bad!"

"Almost being the key word there, Padfoot," Dad said drily.

"**Oh." Dudley sat down heavily and grabbed the nearest parcel. "All right then."**

**Uncle Vernon chuckled. **"**Little tyke wants his money's worth, just like his father. 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair. At that moment the telephone rang and Aunt Petunia went to answer it while Harry and Uncle Vernon watched Dudley unwrap the racing bike, a video camera, a remote control airplane, sixteen new computer games, and a VCR. He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch-"**

"Why would an eleven year old need a gold wrist watch?" Mum asked, bewildered.

"In wizarding custom, they're only given as a sign to show coming of age," Remus said, "never at such a young age."

"**-when Aunt Petunia came back from the telephone looking both angry and worried.**

"**Bad news, Vernon," she said. "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror, but Harry's heart gave a leap. Every year on Dudley's birthday, his parents took him and a friend out for the day, to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies. Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg, a mad old lady who lived two streets away. Harry hated it there. The whole house smelled of cabbage and Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned."**

"Exciting stuff, that," Sirius said.

"**Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this. Harry knew he ought to feel sorry that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg, but it wasn't easy when he reminded himself it would be a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again."**

"_Such_ a shame," Dad said, shaking his head.

"**We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

"**Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy."**

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug."**

"Well, I don't understand them, and I am certainly not a slug," Sirius said, pushing his hair back.

"One day, you will meet someone more vain then even you," Mum said, rolling her eyes at him, "and when you come to me, asking how to deal with her, I will not sympathise with you at all."

"Ditto," Mione agreed.

"**What about what's-her-name, your friend — Yvonne?"**

"**On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

"**You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer)."**

"Sneaky little bugger," Dad said, though he sounded almost encouraging.

"I wonder where he gets that from," Mum said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Dad cried out.

"There are these things, they're called genes," Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon. **"**And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

"**I won't blow up the house," said Harry, but they weren't listening."**

"Yeah, they don't really believe you when you say that," Sirius said, scratching his head.

"Padfoot, you actually _did_ blow up the house" Remus said.

"**I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "…and leave him in the car…"**

"**That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone…"**

"Please, what is the likelihood that you'll blow up the car?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes.

"Padfoot, you did blow up my parents car," Mum said, laughing.

"I fixed it, didn't I?" Sirius asked defensively.

"**Dudley began to cry loudly. In fact, he wasn't really crying — it had been years since he'd really cried — but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted. **"**Dinky Duddydums, don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.**

"**I…don't…want…him…t-t-to come!" Dudley yelled between huge, pretend sobs. "He always sp-spoils everything!" He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms."**

"Spoilt brat," Mione grumbled.

"You really do not like this boy," Dad said, chuckling, "it's weird. You remind me so much of Lily; you'd both never hurt a fly."

"I'm a bit of a know it all Dad," Mione said, laughing, "but pity anyone that thinks they can get away with taking cheap shots at _my_ husband."

"**Just then, the doorbell rang — "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" said Aunt Petunia frantically — and a moment later, Dudley's best friend, Piers Polkiss, walked in with his mother. Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat. He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once."**

"Wouldn't want to look 'weak' in front of his friends," I snorted.

"**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life. His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside."**

"This is going to be good," Mum said derisively.

"**I'm warning you," he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, "I'm warning you now, boy — any funny business, anything at all — and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

"**I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly…"**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did. "**

"Like that surprises me," Mione said.

"**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen."**

"In all fairness son, some of them you probably did make happen," Dad said.

"But at the time I had no idea about magic," I said.

"Which makes it worse!" Mum cried out, "Petunia knew about all of this and could have explained it, but she didn't."

"**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar." Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, who spent a sleepless night imagining school the next day, where he was already laughed at for his baggy clothes and taped glasses. Next morning, however, he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off. "**

"Serves her right for trying to take on the Potter hair," Dad said smugly.

"**He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he **_**couldn't **_**explain how it had grown back so quickly."**

"Mum, you're right," Mione said definitively, "Petunia is being a bitch."

"**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls). The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, until finally it might have fitted a hand puppet, but certainly wouldn't fit Harry."**

"I like that one," Sirius snickered, "I did something similar with dress robes. I swear, the old hag cursed them."

"**Aunt Petunia had decided it must have shrunk in the wash and, to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished. On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens."**

This caused everyone to laugh out loud.

"**Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, as much to Harry's surprise as anyone else's, there he was sitting on the chimney."**

"Apparation at that age is incredibly advanced," Remus said. "It can be a hard feat for even teenagers. You have a very strong magical core."

**The Dursleys had received a very angry letter from Harry's headmistress telling them Harry had been climbing school buildings. But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard) was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid-jump."**

"That's just a little dense," Sirius said snickering.

"Padfoot, do I need to tell everyone about how you thought we were being sorted?" Dad said, glaring at Sirius.

"No, no, we don't need to go into that!" Sirius said hurriedly.

"**But today, nothing was going to go wrong. It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room. While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects. This morning, it was motorcycles."**

"What does the great lump have against motorcycles?" Sirius asked indignantly.

"…**roaring along like maniacs, the young hoodlums," he said, as a motorcycle overtook them.**

"**I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."**

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front. He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"**

"Asshat," Dad said.

"**Dudley and Piers sniggered. **"**I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."**

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. If there was one thing the Dursleys hated even more than his asking questions, it was his talking about anything acting in a way it shouldn't, no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon — they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas."**

"Now we're getting dangerous ideas," Dad said darkly, and I saw Remus and Sirius nod.

"**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families. The Dursleys bought Dudley and Piers large chocolate ice creams at the entrance and then, because the smiling lady in the van had asked Harry what he wanted before they could hurry him away, they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop. It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond."**

"Close enough," Mione said, laughing as she kissed me on the cheek.

"**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time. He was careful to walk a little way apart from the Dursleys so that Dudley and Piers, who were starting to get bored with the animals by lunchtime, wouldn't fall back on their favorite hobby of hitting him."**

"I'm sure they're really going to miss that, the evil children," Mum said, eyebrows coming together.

"**They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory didn't have enough ice cream on top, Uncle Vernon bought him another one and Harry was allowed to finish the first. Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last."**

"I have a bad feeling," Sirius said ominously.

"Sirius, that's hardly impressive," Remus said, rolling his eyes, "the book basically said that something bad was going to happen."

"Why do you have to smack me down like the wand of Merling, huh?" Sirius asked. "Remus?"

"Yes Padfoot?" Remus replied, sighing.

"This is my buzz," he said, his hands joining together, "and you are killing it," he said as he brought his hands apart, imitating an explosion.

"**After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. Behind the glass, all sorts of lizards and snakes were crawling and slithering over bits of wood and stone. Dudley and Piers wanted to see huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake in the place. It could have wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can — but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep."**

"Well that was anti-climatic," Dad said, rolling his eyes.

"Prongs, you know big words?" Sirius gasped, "what has she done to you?"

"I'm sure I've adversely affected his life," Mum said drily.

"**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils. **"**Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge.**

"**Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

"**This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away."**

"Say that to a Slytherin," Sirius said with a snort.

"**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. He wouldn't have been surprised if it had died of boredom itself — no company except stupid people drumming their fingers on the glass trying to disturb it all day long. It was worse than having a cupboard as a bedroom, where the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house."**

"I love when you're considerate," Mione said to me, smiling, "you were even supportive of S.P.E.W."

Sirius opened his mouth and I held my hand up. "Long story that we will explain later."

"**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's. **_**It winked. **_**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too."**

"Because that's the normal thing to do with a snake?" Mum said, hyperventilating a little.

"Lils, there's protective glass," Dad said, trying to comfort her.

"James, the child can fly, what is the blasted glass going to do?" I watched, laughing, as Dad shrank back from Mum's glare.

"**The snake jerked its head toward Uncle Vernon and Dudley, then raised its eyes to the ceiling. It gave Harry a look that said quite plainly:**

"_**I get that all the time."**_

"**I know," Harry murmured through the glass, though he wasn't sure the snake could hear him. "It must be really annoying." The snake nodded vigorously."**

"Holy sunflowers the snake can understand you!" Sirius cried out.

There was silence meeting this statement, before Mum said, "well at least you can talk to it, and convince it not to eat you," which of course made everyone laugh.

"**Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it. Boa Constrictor, Brazil.**

"**Was it nice there?"**

"You're manners truly surprise me, harry," Mione told me.

"Why do you say that as if its a bad thing?" I asked, grinning.

"It isn't, it's good," she said, smiling.

"**The boa constrictor jabbed its tail at the sign again and Harry read on: This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see — so you've never been to Brazil?"**

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"**

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could."**

"Sirius, do not proceed to waddle around the room," Mione said sternly to Padfoot, and I laughed, seeing him about to get up, before sitting down again, to the amusement of everyone else.

"**Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs. Caught by surprise, Harry fell hard on the concrete floor. What came next happened so fast no one saw how it happened — one second, Piers and Dudley were leaning right up close to the glass, the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror."**

"I told you he was going to vanish the glass!" Mum cried out triumphantly.

"**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits."**

"But Harry was all cool," Sirius said, puffing out his chest.

"**As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, **_**"Brazil, here I come…Thanksss, amigo."**_

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock. **"**But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

"Gotta love Muggles," Remus said.

"**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea while he apologized over and over again. Piers and Dudley could only gibber. As far as Harry had seen, the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car, Dudley was telling them how it had nearly bitten off his leg, while Piers was swearing it had tried to squeeze him to death. But worst of all, for Harry at least, was Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"**

"That doesn't sound good," Dad said, looking worried.

"Yeah, Muggles aren't big on magic," Sirius said, shrugging. "Apparently it allows for too much mischief, or at least according to Lily's parents."

"My parents weren't generalising all wizards when making that comment," Mum said. "You purposely tripped a Slytherin! All because he insulted the Quidditch team."

Sirius shrugged. "He says he was pushed, I say he tripped; we'll never know the full story."

"**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go — cupboard — stay — no meals," before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy. Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food."**

"I now completely understand you're sneakiness, and want to go out when you shouldn't," Mione said.

"See love, it's in my nature," I said, nudging her shoulder.

"**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years, as long as he could remember, ever since he'd been a baby and his parents had died in that car crash. He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died."**

"Maybe because you weren't," Mum said sarcastically.

"**Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his cupboard, he came up with a strange vision: a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead. This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from."**

"You really were a very smart child, Harry," Mum said, smiling at me.

"Definitely in the genes," Dad said.

"**He couldn't remember his parents at all. His aunt and uncle never spoke about them, and of course he was forbidden to ask questions. There were no photographs of them in the house. When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family. Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him."**

"They do, you're just on the wrong street," Sirius said, looking proud of himself for making such a connection.

"**Very strange strangers they were, too. A tiny man in a violet top hat had bowed to him once while out shopping with Aunt Petunia and Dudley."**

"Guaranteed that man is Dedalus DIggle, or someone related to him," Dad said, sharing a high five with Sirius.

**After asking Harry furiously if he knew the man, Aunt Petunia had rushed them out of the shop without buying anything. A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus. A bald man in a very long purple coat had actually shaken his hand in the street the other day and then walked away without a word. The weirdest thing about all these people was the way they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look."**

"Magic," Sirius said, waving his hands in the air for effect.

"**At school, Harry had no one. Everybody knew that Dudley's gang hated that odd Harry Potter in his baggy old clothes and broken glasses, and nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang." **

"They do sound very imposing," Mum agreed.

I shut the book. "Alright, who's next?" I asked.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm bringing back my questions! I love to get to know my readers, after all you're reading my story, so I owe you that. **

**Oh, and while I adore all my readers, truly, I will always have a special place in my heart for those that review a chapter. Your words, and your continued engagement in my work, cannot be described in words. When I write, you are who I write for. **_**Salut, mi famiglia.**_

**Question: Do you prefer skittles or M&Ms, and why?**

**Sirius' POV**

"Oh, me, me, me!" I cried out, taking the book from Harry's outstretched hand.

"I think the sweets were a bad idea," I heard Prongs mutter to Moony.

"Shush you two!" I scolded them, "depending on when Harry and Hermione go back, you two will have to put up with me for the next several years."

"What about Lily?" James cried out, pointing accusingly at his fiance.

"Thanks James," Lily said, rolling her eyes and scoffing, "I promised Sirius I would make him cupcakes. They're an old family recipe, and he loves them."

"_She_ looks after me," I said, glaring at my fellow Marauders, "I'm going to start reading, before you two mutiny me."

"Sirius you do know-" Remus began, before being cut off by Mione.

"Just leave him alone," Mione said, shaking her head and laughing, "otherwise we'll never get through this."

"Thank you Mione," I said, smiling at her, ignoring the fact she kinda sorta insulted me. Not like I wouldn't do the same.

I cleared my throat. **"CHAPTER THREE : LETTERS FROM NO ONE. The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment. By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches."**

"Really cares for what he has, doesn't he?" Prongs asked rhetorically.

"I'm not surprised he broke the bike," Lily said, "the useless lump."

"Obviously no love lost there," Harry said with a grin.

"I completely understand, Mama," Mione grumbled.

"**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader."**

This made me laugh. "Groups really still work like that? Why doesn't it work with humor?"

"What do you mean Padfoot?" Prongs asked.

"Well, I could be the leader of our group-" I started, but I got interrupted by Remus and James.

"Where do you get your material?" Prongs cried out.

"I'm the smart kind of funny!" Moony said.

"You keep telling yourselves that," I said as I turned a page.

"**The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting. This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope. When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley."**

"Perhaps a blessing in disguise?" Lily said.

"**Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school. Dudley thought this was very funny."**

"Why?" I asked, "Stonewall sounds decent."

"You probably would've fit in," Lily sniggered at me.

"I don't get it," I said, frowning. Obviously there was a joke, but it was lost on me.

"Sirius, Stonewall is for...boys with behavioural issues," Mione said.

I thought for a second. I could definitely see my mother sending me there.

**"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"**

"Does he ever grow up and get any manners?" Remus asked, grimacing.

"Eventually," Harry said, laughing.

"A long, _long_ way into the future," Mione said.

**"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said."**

"It'd take him awhile," Prongs said, snorting.

"**One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years."**

"And she hadn't _eaten_ it by then?" Remus asked, as if such a thing was impossible.

"**That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life."**

Just the ridiculousness of this made me laugh, which made Prongs laugh, which then caused a kind of domino effect. Soon everyone was rolling around in their chairs. I don't think we even knew why we were still laughing. Eventually we all settled down.

"This is nice," harry said, sending me a smile. I grinned back, winking mischievously.

"**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh."**

"I completely understand that reaction," Prongs said to Harry.

"**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast. It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.**

**"What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question."**

"How dare you speak in the presence of the horse?" I asked, standing and putting on a lofty voice.

"Do you know not the basics of decorum?" Prongs said, joining me.

"Have you not the simple understanding of status?" I said, circling Prongs. We both cracked up laughing, unable to hold the facade any longer.

**"Your new school uniform," she said.**

**Harry looked in the bowl again.**

**"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."**

"Sometimes you do sound very dense love," Mione said, grinning cheekily at Harry.

"I'm kinda with Mione on this one sweetheart," Lily said to Harry, agreeing.

**"Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."**

"Suuuuuure," I drawled.

"**Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High — like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably."**

"It is likely," Mione said, grinning.

"**Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table."**

"Stuck up little punk," I grumbled.

"Merlin, if I was a teenager, I'd be kicking his butt," Moony said.

"I love you when you get in this mood Moony," Prongs said, grinning, "it's so different from your usual...nice-ness."

"**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. "Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.**

**"Make Harry get it."**

**"Get the mail, Harry."**

**"Make Dudley get it."**

**"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."**

"Typical," Mione snorted.

"Vernon and I are going to have a very long, very _interesting_, discussion when everything gets sorted out," Lily said, looking downright evil.

"Not to put a stop to the seriously hot Revenge Lily we're currently seeing," Prongs interjected ("Ew, Dad!" Harry cried out in the background.), "but these Durseleys haven't done anything yet. I mean, sure, you have plenty on Petunia being nasty to you during the last few years, but in this time Harry doesn't exist."

A silence followed this statement, and I had a moment of shock when I fully understood the anomaly of Hermione and Harry being here with us.

Harry cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, that just means we'll have to change the future, so I'll never experience any abuse and Mum can stay out of Azkaban."

"Too right son," Prongs said, smiling, "grey really isn't your mother's colour."

"James!" Lily cried, hitting his arm, though I could see her trying to hide a smile.

"**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and — **_**a letter for Harry**_**."**

"Dun, dun, dun!" I cried out, Prongs creating a drum beat on the side of his chair.

"**Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives -"**

"We have to have other relatives," Lily grumbled, "I know I have aunt and uncles; I've visited them before!"

"**-he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:**

_**Mr. H. Potter**_

_**The Cupboard under the Stairs**_

_**4 Privet Drive**_

_**Little Whinging**_

_**Surrey"**_

"Oh, this is so exciting," Lily said, clapping her hands.

"Yep, I'm crying tears of joy," I said, not understanding her excitement.

"Sirius, why must you ruin the moment?" Mione asked rhetorically.

"What?" I said defensively, "what am I doing?"

"A mother is allowed to be proud of her baby," Lily said, socking me on the shoulder. I tried to play it off like it didn't hurt, when I was internally cringing. Maybe it was a redhead thing.

"**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp."**

"Hogwarts is so magnanimous, she doesn't need stamps!" I cried out in what I thought to be a rather lofty, philosophical voice, but from the look of Mione's face was just an annoyance.

"**Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter **_**H**_**.**

**"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke."**

"Was that supposed to be a joke?" James snorted derisively.

"It wasn't funny," Moony rolled his eyes, "and to be honest, this guy's sense of humour is really starting to sicken me."

"Living with him isn't exactly fun either, I assure you," Harry said dryly.

"I never would have guessed," Mione teased lightly.

"**Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope. Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard. "Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk…"**

"A what?" Prongs asked, looking confused.

"You know Prongs," I said, "a whelk. The name given to various types of sea snail."

Everyone stared at me as I scratched the back of my head. "What?" I asked defensively, "you'd be amazed by what you learn trying to pick up a French waitress."

**"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!"**

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.**

"Oh Harry, why wouldn't you hide the letter?" Lily asked, frowning gently.

**"That's **_**mine**_**!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.**

**"Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.**

**"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.**

"Squeamish whale," Mione said, using the snidest tone I think I had ever heard from her.

"You make me so proud, love," I said, wiping a fake tear from my eye as Mione laughed.

"**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.**

**"Vernon! Oh my goodness — Vernon!"**

**They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored.'**

"Probably good for him," Remus said, "he needs a big of an ego hit."

**He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.**

**"I want to read that letter," he said loudly.**

**"**_**I **_**want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's **_**mine**_**."**

"This is very true, Prongslet," I said, laughing, "however, I don't think they care."

"Gee, no, you don't say, Padfoot," Remus said with a role of his eyes.

"I do not appreciate your sarcasm, Moony, and you would do well to remember what happened the last time you did that and I found your chocolate stash," I threatened. With someone like Moony, you really needed to have insurance, otherwise he'd use his brain for evil.

**"Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.**

**Harry didn't move."**

"I doubt that was your best decision love," Mione teased Harry.

"Only because I didn't have your guidance sweetheart," Harry said, kissing her temple.

"You could learn a thing or two from your son, James," Lily said, nudging Prongs with her shoulder.

"I made you fall in love with me," James said defensively.

"Darling, I think that was more fate," Lily said , grinning and kissing James, to which he enthusiastically replied.

"The hormones in the air are getting to me," i cried out dramatically, holding the back of my hand to my head, "I don't understand why you both need to be connected via your lips!"

**"I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

"Way to show some spirit Prongslet!" I said, sending him a thumbs up.

"But please do try to avoid using your fists in future Harry," Lily said, smiling at Harry.

"I've been trying to tell him that for years, Mama!" Mione cried out, "Harry's motto is do first, think second."

"You must truly have luck on your side Harry," Remus said.

"Finally, someone sees it from my perspective!" Harry said.

"I think it's very lucky you have Mione," James said, "Merlin knows our plans got better with Lily's input."

"Which both shocked and awed us," I put in.

**"Let **_**me **_**see it!" demanded Dudley.**

**"OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole; Dudley won, so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor."**

"If only we had Fred and George's Extendable Ears," Harry grinned.

"Extendable Ears?" I asked, intrigued.

"The Weasley Twins are practical jokers," Mione explained, "you guys are actually their idols."

"They run a joke shop now, after leaving Hogwarts. I actually invested in their business," Harry said.

"He's their only investor," Mione supplied, "the only one to believe in them enough."

"I know a good joke when I see it," Harry said, grinning at all of us.

**"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address — how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"**

"Sometimes I wonder about my sister," Lily said, shaking her head.

"I wonder too," I interjected, "I wonder how you got all the brain cells, and she got zilch. Something went wrong there."

**"Watching — spying — might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.**

**"But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want —"**

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.**

"Wonder how fast he can manage that," James said, snorting.

**"No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer…Yes, that's best…we won't do anything…"**

**"But —"**

**"I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"**

"What kind of idiot is he?" Remus asked incredulously, "in what universe could you stamp the magic out of someone."

"They are ignorant, Moony," Harry said with a shrug, "ignorance breeds fear."

"And you, I don't get at all," I said, pointing at Harry, "how are you so calm?"

Harry shrugged again. "I probably-"

"-definitely," Mione interrupted.

Harry coughed. "I _definitely_ was not this calm the first time around, but not only have I grown up, I've had time to think about everything. If I was more mature, life definitely would have been easier."

"Or if you had listened to your wife," Lily said.

"Both options sound the same to me," Mione said loftily.

"**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard."**

"He shouldn't be in the blasted cupboard in the first place," Moony growled.

**"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"**

**"No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly. "I have burned it."**

"Like that'll stop Hogwarts," I said derisively, "do they not understand magic at _all_?"

Everyone looked at me funnily. "What? What'd I say?"

Mione shakes her head. "Remus, two of them have never even witnessed magic before, and all three are ignorant," she explained to me.

"Pfft, I _so_ knew that!" I said, making exaggerated gestures.

**"It was **_**not **_**a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."**

**"SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling. He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful."**

"I'm sure he's never done that before," Mione snorted.

"Was that an actual snort, sweetheart?" I asked, grinning. "I think that's the most unladylike noise you've ever made," I said gleefully.

**"Er — yes, Harry — about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking…you're really getting a bit big for it…we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom."**

"He has a second bedroom?"Mum asked incredulously.

"The life of a spoilt child," I said with a shrug, "I'm surprised that you're so surprised."

**"Why?" said Harry.**

**"Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now."**

"Whiplash," Moony mumbled.

"**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom."**

"Because that's such a necessity," Mione grumbled.

"**It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken."**

"Vernon's laziness has never failed to surprise me," Lily said, "I don't even understand how he became a Manager."

"He does seem to have an extraordinary lack of drive," Moony agreed.

"Him and Petunia met at a garden party for one of my father's work clients," Lily explained, "and even at, what was it James? 20 years old?" she paused, turning to James.

Prongs scratched his head in thought. "Well, we were 17, which would make Petunia 19, so Vernon would've been 21, love."

Lily shrugged. "Well, at 21 then, he was still a bit of a buthead, more so than I can say for any other man of that age I've met since."

"Not even Sirius was that arrogant," Prongs said, to which I gasped.

"You may mean it as a compliment, Prongs," I said, clutching my chest above my heart, "but it hurts more than words can explain."

"**The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched."**

Mione looked personally affronted at this fact. "An outrage if I ever heard one," she said, sounding offended.

"**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, "I don't **_**want **_**him in there…I **_**need **_**that room…make him get out…"**

"The sad thing is," Harry began, "without the letter from Hogwarts, they would have kept me in the cupboard as long as possible."

"**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it."**

"At least you have priorities son," Prongs said, causing harry to laugh and Mione to glare slightly at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, "Mione is giving you the evil stare of ultimate death and destruction."

"Really Sirius?" Lily asked sardonically.

"Just something Ron said in our first year," Harry laughed, "we won't tell you too much, but we had a kind of frightening experience, and we got points taken off. The Mione comes along in all her twelve year old glory and says "I'm going to bed before either of you comes up with another clever plan to get us killed; or worse, expelled!" Then she just walks off back to her dorm and Ron turns to me and says "she's needs to sort out her priorities." he said with another laugh, Mione's glare intensifying.

"May I remind you for the reason for your exam success, Mr Potter?" she asked, raising one eyebrow as only angry women could do.

"You know I love you, Mrs. Potter," Harry said, pulling Mione gently into his side, "and I wouldn't do nearly as well without your love and support."

I could see the small smile on Mione's face as she burrowed further into Harry's chest.

"**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock. He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose-"**

"That is something I do not abide by," Mione said harshly, "there are people who genuinely suffer from these inflections, and it's like he's making a mockery of it, simply to get his way."

"If you would like I could hit him when I get back," Harry offered.

"Though that is rather vindictive," Mione began," I think that the action is justifiably called for."

"**-kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back. Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.**

"Dudley is like Petunia and Vermin rolled up into one nasty, selfish child," said Lily, making a face.

"**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it. They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive —'"**

"Suck on that Dursley!" cheered Prongs.

"**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind."**

"I'm surprised you could get your hands all the way around," Lily said in a rare dark moment.

"**After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.**

**"Go to your cupboard — I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley — go — just go."**

**Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter. Surely that meant they'd try again? And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan."**

"I didn't think that would ever happen," Mione gently teased.

"**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights."**

"I'm surprised I didn't walk into anything and wake them, with my eyesight," Harry said.

"**He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first. His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door -AAAAARRRGH!"**

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat — something **_**alive**_**!"**

"It's Dudley sneaking out to get food," I said, snickering, "three sickles."

Moony laughed, holding out his hand. "You're on Padfoot. Three says it's Vernon."

"**Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face."**

I begrudgingly held out the required amount to Remus' outstretched hand.

"**Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink."**

"I would've poisoned his tea and then booked it with the letters," I explained.

"Sirius!" Mione and Lily both gasped, while the three boys just laughed.

**"I want —" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes.**

**Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot."**

"Oh he's so funny," I said, wiping a fake tear from the corner of my eye.

"Like that'll stop _Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore_," Prongs said in a philosophical voice.

"I don't know if I'm more impressed that you remembered them all-" Lily began.

"-or that you got them in the right order," Remus finished, laughing with Lily.

**"See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't **_**deliver **_**them they'll just give up."**

**"I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."**

"Listen to her Vernon, you already look like an idiot," Prongs grumbled.

**"Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him."**

"And thank Merlin for that!" I exclaimed.

"**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom."**

"I have a feeling something big is coming," Lily said suddenly, looking to Harry and Mione for confirmation, though they gave her none.

"What kind of feeling?" I asked, amused.

Lily laughed. "Sirius, you know I'm psychic," she said, clearly joking.

"That's why you scare me so," I said seriously.

"**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises."**

"He's going nuts!" Lily squealed in delight.

"**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window."**

"You can't say wizards aren't inventive," Moony said with a shake of his head.

"**While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor."**

"May the ink make her ill," Lily said with venom.

"That's a little harsh Mama," Harry said, "especially considering she's your sister."

Lily shook her head. "Understand this, Harry. I am loyal to those I care about, but once my trust has been broken it is nigh impossible to gain that back. All bets were off after the way they treated her."

"Trust me son, you'll understand if you ever become a parent," James said, smiling, "we may have only known about you for a short while, but there's already a feeling that we have to protect you."

"When, not if," Harry said, sharing a significant glance with Mione, causing Lily to clap her hands in excitement.

**"Who on earth wants to talk to **_**you **_**this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.**

"Nearly every person in the wizarding world, I would wager," Mione said.

"**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.**

**"No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today —"**

"There's going to be a letter, isn't there?" I asked gleefully.

"**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one —"**

"Uh, not to be the bearer of obvious news," I said, scratching my head, thinking hard, "but if there were that many, couldn't you just grab one from the floor and run?"

Everyone stared at me, looking shocked. "That was very astute of you Sirius," Lily said.

"You all look surprised," I said, a little miffed.

**"Out! OUT!"**

**Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.**

**When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor."**

"You know I hate to say it Harry," Mione said, "but Sirius was right. It would've been a better idea to just get one off of the floor."

"You'll warm up to me one day Mione," I said, winking at her.

**"That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. "I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!"**

"Does he really think that will solve the problem?" Moony asked rhetorically.

"**He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue. Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag."**

"Dieu, il est vraiment lent," Lily muttered, shaking your head.

"You speak French?" James asked, clearly surprised.

"Qui," she said, winking.

"How did we not know that?" I asked, shocked as well.

"You didn't ask Padfoot," Remus said grinning.

"I'm assuming you knew?" I asked him.

"Of course," he said with a shrug, "what kind of soul bond would we have if I didn't know that she visits her cousin Apolline in Paris every year."

Mione and Harry shared a surprised look. "Apolline? Apolline Delacour?" Harry asked.

Lily nodded. "Well, 'Lena just got engaged to Claude Delacour, so I'm going to say yes. But how did you know that?"

"We know Apolline's eldest daughter, Fleur," Mione explained.

"Wow, who would've guessed we were related," Harry said with a laugh.

"**They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a****while****. "Sh****ake 'em off…shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this."**

"I think you finally cracked him," I laughed maniacally.

"It's a wonder we're still friends," Moony said, shaking his head, "I don't know how I didn't find that creepy the first time."

"Simple; you're as twisted as I am," I told him.

"**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling. He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer."**

"I don't understand why boys always want to shoot things," Mione said, shaking her head.

"Neither do I love," Lily said.

"**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering…**

**They ate stale corn flakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.**

**"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk."**

"See, hogwarts is unstoppable," Mione said.

"**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:**

_**Mr. H. Potter**_

_**Room 17**_

_**Railview Hotel**_

_**Cokeworth**_

"I'd love to see what Vernon does now," Lily said.

"Do you think Petunia told him about us and about magic?" Prongs asked her.

"Well, she had to have, otherwise how would he know what the letters meant," Lily said.

"She doesn't seem to have explained to him everything," Remus said, "because otherwise I doubt he'd be trying to evade the letters with this intensity."

"**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared.**

**"I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.**

**"Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her."**

"Aunt Petunia was always like that," Harry said, "apart from one time, I've never seen her put her foot down. She's always done what Uncle Vernon told her to."

"**Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage."**

"He's looking for somewhere to hide, somewhere where he thinks no one, not even wizards can find him," Mione guessed.

**"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon. Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared."**

"That's irresponsible," Prongs muttered.

"Because you've never been irresponsible," Lily lightly teased.

Prongs shook his head. "Being a teenager is one thing, but I wouldn't leave my family on their own in a strange place. _I'm_ not a idiot."

"**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled."**

"Does not surprise me in the slightest," Mione said scornfully.

**"It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a **_**television**_**."**

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it **_**was **_**Monday — and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television — then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday. Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun — last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. Still, you weren't eleven every day."**

Lily smiled at Harry. "So far Harry, you really are impressing me with your optimism. I know you can be down and dark sometimes, just from reading this portion of the book, but after living with these people..." Lily trailed off, obviously unable to find the right words.

"He never listens to me, but I say that him defeating Voldemort was never a question after surviving the Dursleys as a child," Mione said, nudging Harry with her shoulder.

"**Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling. He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.**

**"Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"**

**It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there."**

"Good," I said decisively, "you shouldn't be the only one to suffer.'

**"Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. "And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!"**

**A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old row boat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them."**

"How is that going to be helpful getting to an isolated place when the sea is in turmoil because of the storm?" Lily questioned, looking mad.

**"I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"**

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces. After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house."**

"Hope he falls on his backside," Prongs said vehemently.

"**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms."**

"Wonder who gets those?" Sirius asked sarcastically.

"**Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas. He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up."**

"Wow, like that was surprising," Mione said, shaking her head, "obviously he didn't think his _brilliant _plan through."

**"Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.**

"He's lucky I'm not there," Prongs said, "then we'd see who's cheerful."

"**He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all.**

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket."**

"Her lack of decency still shocks me," Lily said, "whether you were related to her or not, a wizard or not, you're still a human being."

"**The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now."**

"I don't think you're at a loss," Mione said, "I wouldn't want them to remember my birthday, especially with the way they treat you."

"**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did."**

Everyone just shook their heads at this.

"**Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow."**

"Then I could try picking one up off the ground," Harry joked.

"**Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea?"**

"An inquisitive mind," Moony said, nodding in approval.

"**One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds…twenty…ten…nine — maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him — three…two…one…BOOM."**

"Did you just shout boom?" I asked amusedly.

"No Sirius, it was a sound I heard," Harry said, laughing.

"**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in."**

"Because that's not foreboding in the least," Prongs said.

Just as I was about to hand the book to James, a flash of a very bright blue light erupted in the room.

"You know Harry, I don't think they like you, these three women," I called out over the wind like noise, "they're trying to blind you and ruin your eyesight even more!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Question: Shakespeare or Jane Austen?**

**Oh, and we have some surprise guests! Do make them feel welcome, will you? **

**Harry's POV**

The air cleared of the smoke (seriously, why did they need to use smoke? Overkill if you ask me) and we saw two very telling mops of red hair coming out of the fog.

"Blimey Gred, isn't this fancy!" George said.

Fred stood up, dusting himself off. "I'd say! Looks like someone got excited," he said to George, "now, oh-wise-brother, please think of our usual place so we can get to work."

George shook his head. "I didn't do-" he began, before abruptly stopping as both Fred's and his eyes came to rest on all of us.

"Fred! George!" Mione cried out before running up to both of them and squeezing them both into one hug.

"G!" they cried out in chorus, "not that we aren't psyched to see you, but why are you here? Where are we?"

I walked up and shook each of their hands in turn. "We're reading through books about my life with Mum, Dad, Remus and Sirius," I said, gesturing to the Marauders.

We got Fred and George caught up and they fell to their knees in front of the Marauders. "Oh wise and imperious majesties! We are your humble servants and only hope to measure up to you!" they said, completely in unison.

The boys shared a look as Mum laughed. "And I thought you and Mione were in sync," Remus said to me, "these guys beat even you two."

Fred and George looked like they were about to faint in happiness, especially after being complimented by one of their idols. As far as I know, the Twins had never had much chance to talk about anything non-Voldemort related with Sirius or Remus, and so this opportunity really would mean the world to them.

"How about before we turn in for the night, we talk about pranking and stuff," Dad said, grinning at the Twins, "you guys seem like you know a lot, and Harry and Mione told us about your joke shop."

Fred and George grinned at each other. "Why Mr. Potter-" Fred began.

"-or, as we call him, _Harry-Potter-Our-Not-So-Silent-Benefactor_," they said in tandem. I just laughed.

"You get used to it," I told everyone from the past, "let's start reading, shall we?"

"**The Keeper of the Keys," **Dad began.

"**BOOM!" **Dad shouted.

"Must you yell James?" Mum asked rhetorically.

"Yes, Lily dear. It needs to be an authentic performance," he said seriously.

"Theatrical without reason, as always sweetheart," Mum teased.

"**They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. **"**Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly."**

"Even at a young age, young Harold could spot the clinically irreparable cases," Fred said using a philosophical voice.

"Hang on a second, is his name really Harold?" George asked, looking confusedly at his twin.

"Dude, you are not presenting a cohesive bromance here," Fred said, shaking his head.

"**There was a crash behind them and Uncle Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands – now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them."**

"I feel like that's Vernon's only half decent thought," Dad said, before hurrying to explain himself after the looks he received, "I mean, of course it's an overreaction, but how many wizards know a) what a gun is and b) how to handle being shot at? If you're thinking in a purely defensive manner, having a Muggle weapon against an unsuspecting wizard isn't the worst thing he could have done."

"**Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you – I'm armed!"**

**There was a pause. Then -SMASH! The door hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor."**

"Great! Harry had a terrible birthday and is now probably going to get killed," Sirius said.

"Padfoot, dude, come on. Seriously?" Dad asked.

"**A giant of a man was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair."**

"I love Hagrid," Mum said with a grin.

"I remember when that rumour was going about that he opened the Chamber of Secrets," Remus said, shaking his head as if the idea was ridiculous, which it was.

"Cousin Cygnus didn't even know what hit him," Sirius said happily.

"He was itching himself in all sorts of inappropriate places for weeks," Dad said, high fiving Sirius.

"**The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all."**

"Vernon would have shit himself," Fred said gleefully.

"You've met Vernon?" Mum asked with a raised eyebrow.

The Twins shared a look. "Oh we have-"

"-many, many-"

"_many_ fond memories with the Dursley family," they finished semi evilly, doing the "Twin handshake" as Mione had termed it.

"We really must swap stories lads," Sirius said, well, seriously.

_You should be thankful you thought that and didn't say it_, Mione thought at me _because I have a feeling Sirius is really into the self-named jokes._

**"Couldn't make us a cup o' tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey..."**

Everyone laughed at that. It was just like Hagrid to open with a line that implied such familiarity.

"**He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear.**

**"Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger."**

"I knew this was a reason we loved Hagrid, Forge," Fred said, laughing.

"What's with the names, if you don't mind me asking," Remus interjected.

The Twins grinned. "Our first step as pranksters was naturally to confuse our mother," Fred said.

"Being half of a set of twins was certainly useful when we were children," George added.

"And half mixing our names seemed a natural progression," Fred said.

"Usually, unless it's Mum, Hermione or Harry-"

"-who have a scary sense about them, that just isn't natural-"

"-most people don't know who we mean when we say Gred-"

"-and Forge. But just for clarity's sake-"

"-Fred is Gred-"

"-and George is Forge," they finished, smiling benignly.

"Oh, your poor, _poor _mother," Mum said, shaking her head, "my head is sore just imagining the mayhem."

"Of which there was plenty, Mrs Potter, ma'am," the Twins said in sync.

"Boys, please," she said, smiling suddenly, "Mrs Potter is my lovely mother in law. You can call me Lily, or almost anything else."

"Very well then-"

"-Mama P," they said, grinning.

"**Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified, behind Uncle Vernon."**

"Not a backbone in that entire family," Sirius said with a shake of his head, "don't know where you came out Lils."

**"An' here's Harry!" said the giant.**

**Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.**

**"Las' time I saw you, you was only a baby," said the giant. "Yeh look a lot like yer dad, but yeh've got yer mom's eyes."**

"The first of many people to say that," I said with a laugh, causing Dad to shake his head.

"You may not understand son," he said, "because you never knew us, but when you don't expect it, and you see the likeness, its really startling. Even now, I feel as if I'm looking into your mother's eyes."

"**Uncle Vernon made a funny rasping noise. **

**"I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"**

**"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune," said the giant, he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Uncle Vernon's hands, bent it into a knot as easily as if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room."**

"Love to see what Verny comes up with now," Sirius snorted.

"Well, if you shush then you will find out, won't you?" Mum said, shooting a glare in Sirius' direction.

"**Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.**

**"Anyway – Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "A very happy birthday to yeh. Got summat fer yeh here – I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right."**

Sirius, along with the Twins and Dad, sniggered. "You four are like children," Mum scolded.

The Twins sobered up. "Sorry Mama P," they said in tandem.

I shared a look with Mione, that they evidently caught.

"We want to make a good impression on your Mum. She seems way more relaxed about the whole pranking thing," they said with a shrug.

"**From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with **_**Happy Birthday Harry**_** written on it in green icing."**

"That's nice of Hagrid," Mum said with a smile, "I hope you thanked him Harry."

As I was nodding, I heard Sirius mutter under his breath, "now who's interupting?"

"**Harry looked up at the giant. He meant to say thank you, but the words got lost on the way to his mouth, and what he said instead was, "Who are you?"**

Sirius snorted. "So wonder boy doesn't always have perfect manners?" he asked sarcastically, ducking unsuccessfully as I threw a pillow at him, catching him across the face.

"Actually Padfoot-"

"-this is what we in the business-"

"We in the business?" Mione interrupted the twins, snorting derisively.

"Hush G," Fred said, continuing, "as I was saying, this is what we call-"

"a Dense-Harry-Potter-Moment-"

"-they are mostly few and far between-"

"-but they happen," they concluded.

Everyone was silent, before Mione broke it. "The sad things is they have names for Harry's entire being. His spells, personality traits. Even his past exploits."

I turned to them incredulously. "Really?"

They both scratched their heads. "Well, we were hoping to break-"

"-into the unexplored Potter merchandise phenomenon. We mean-"

"-everyone knows you, but no one has ever used that influence to benefit themselves," they said.

I go to open my mouth before _I_ get interrupted, as I was about to interrupt them.

"Before you get your Potter-Panties in a twist, we were going to donate half the money raised from _any_-"

"-Potter merchandise sold, to charities-"

"-while the three of us would be left to split any remaining profit halfway," they concluded, looking at him as if they were daring him to argue.

"Low blow, really," I said, shooting them greasy looks. They knew when I learnt that they wouldn't be keeping the entirety of the profits I'd be on board.

"**The giant chuckled.**

**"True, I haven't introduced meself. Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts."**

**He held out an enormous hand and shook Harry's whole arm."**

"He does tend to do that," Sirius grimaced, "I still remember having bruises most of my first week."

"That was only because you wanted to arm wrestle with Hagrid," Remus said, shaking his head, half in incredulity, half in amusement it seemed.

"You were a tad cocky back then Padfoot," Dad laughed.

"So nothing's changed?" Sirius said with a laugh and wink, causing both Mione and Mum to throw pillows at him and cry out 'Sirius!'

**"What about that tea then, eh?" he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'd not say no ter summat stronger if yeh've got it, mind."**

**His eyes fell on the empty grate with the shriveled chip bags in it and he snorted. He bent down over the fireplace; they couldn't see what he was doing but when he drew back a second later, there was a roaring fire there. It filled the whole damp hut with flickering light and Harry felt the warmth wash over him as though he'd sunk into a hot bath."**

"After sleeping on the dirt ground with only a thin blanket, I would imagine so," Mum grumbled, obviously still annoyed at the conditions I lived in.

"**The giant sat back down on the sofa, which sagged under his weight, and began taking all sorts of things out of the pockets of his coat: a copper kettle, a squashy package of sausages, a poker, a teapot, several chipped mugs, and a bottle of some amber liquid that he took a swig from before starting to make tea."**

"Hagrid's pockets are like a woman's purse," Dad grinned cheekily, before catching Mum's look, "which is not meant to be a sexist remark, no, not at all."

"**Soon the hut was full of the sound and smell of sizzling sausage. Nobody said a thing while the giant was working, but as he slid the first six fat, juicy, slightly burnt sausages from the poker, Dudley fidgeted a little. Uncle Vernon said sharply, "Don't touch anything he gives you, Dudley."**

"That didn't happen," I snicker.

"**The giant chuckled darkly.**

**"Yer great puddin' of a son don' need fattenin' anymore, Dursley, don' worry." He passed the sausages to Harry, who was so hungry he had never tasted anything so wonderful, but he still couldn't take his eyes off the giant."**

"Smart move Prongslet," Sirius nodded, "I mean, you didn't know Hagrid at the time, and you always need to watch your back."

"I think that's the best advice you've ever given me Sirius," I laughed, "though I do believe you told me to follow my heart once," I said, grabbing ahold of Mione's hand and smiling.

Sirius blushed as Mum chuckled. "I knew there was a big softie under there Padfoot," she said, grinning.

"**Finally, as nobody seemed about to explain anything, he said, "I'm sorry, but I still don't really know who you are."**

**The giant took a gulp of tea and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.**

**"Call me Hagrid," he said, "everyone does. An' like I told yeh, I'm Keeper of Keys at Hogwarts – yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course."**

"Hagrid wasn't always the brightest crayola in the pack," Mum said with a shrug.

**"Er – no," said Harry.**

**Hagrid looked shocked."**

"It wasn't really that shocking," Mione said, "Harry living with a Muggle family, no wizard contact _at all_."

"And I made no secret of the fact that I severely disliked my sister to my friends," Mum said.

**"Sorry," Harry said quickly.**

**"**_**Sorry**_**?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows.**

**"It's them that should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letters but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh never wonder where yer parents learned it all?"**

"Oh, this would have been hilarious to watch," Sirius crowed gleefully, hastily backtracking at seeing Mione's look, "had our dear, sweet, lovable Harry not been involved."

**"All what?" asked Harry.**

**"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered.**

**"Now wait jus' one second!" he leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall."**

"If only Hagrid could use magic on them," Remus said sadly, causing Mione and I to laugh.

**"Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy – this boy! - knows nothin' abou' – about ANYTHING?"**

"I'm sure that would've gone over well with your fragile male ego," Mione teased me gently.

"**Harry thought this was going a bit far. He had been to school, after all, and his marks weren't bad.**

**"I know **_**some**_** things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff."**

Sirius snorted at this.

"**But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About **_**our**_** world,I mean. **_**Your**_** world. **_**My**_** world. **_**Yer parents' **_**world."**

**"What world?"**

**Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode."**

"Oh why can't he?" the Twins said hopefully.

**"DURSLEY!" he boomed.**

"Thank you Merlin-"

"-our prayers have been answered!" they cheered.

"**Uncle Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble."**

**Hagrid stared wildly at Harry. "But yeh must know about yer mom and dad," he said. "I mean, they're **_**famous**_**. You're **_**famous**_**."**

"And so begins the tale of Harry Potter," Fred said with a grin.

"We don't know what you know about Harry," George said, addressing the older generation.

"But what Harry hates, even above bigotry and stuff, is his fame," Fred said, laughing.

I scratched my head. "I've been thinking...maybe I can use my fame," I said, mumbling a bit towards the end.

George clutched at his chest. "Gred, did you hear that?"

"Yes I did Forge. Heard it loud and clear, because my heart just stopped," Fred replied.

**"What? My – my mom and dad weren't famous, were they?"**

**"Yeh don' know... yeh don' know..." Hagrid ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare. "Yeh don' know what yeh **_**are**_**?" he said finally.**

**Uncle Vernon suddenly found his voice. "Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything!"**

"Like Hagrid will listen to him," Sirius said with a smirk.

"Hagrid may not be able to use magic," Mione said darkly.

"But _we_ don't need magic to get revenge," Mum said, indicating herself and Mione, "sweetie, I think a collaboration is in order."

"Could not agree more Mama P," Mione said with a definitive nod.

"**A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid now gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage.**

**"You never told him? Never told him what was in the letter Dumbledore left him? I was there! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?"**

**"Kept **_**what**_** from me?" said Harry eagerly.**

**"STOP! I FORBID YOU!" yelled Uncle Vernon in panic."**

This caused multiple people to laugh out loud.

"**Aunt Petunia gave a gasp of horror.**

**"Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid. " Harry – yer a wizard."**

"That was...subtle," Mum said.

"**There was silence inside the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard."**

"Shocking," Remus said dryly.

**"I'm a **_**what**_**?" gasped Harry.**

"I wasn't much of a reader back then," I said, "I loved movies though, and fantasy ones were probably my favourite. Believing that I was a wizard was like a secret hope of mine."

**"A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good' un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's yer letter."**

"Damn right he'd be a good wizard!" Dad cheered out, causing everyone to laugh.

"**Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to **_**Mr. H. Potter, The floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea.**_** He pulled out the letter and read:**

_**HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY**_

_**Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE**_

_**(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)"**_

"Damn if he's not busy," Sirius said.

"Oh, Dumbledore's got a time turner," Remus said, looking surprised when he saw the surprised looks on almost everyone's face.

"He does," Mione concurred, "I saw it during one of our extra-curricular activities."

"You call them 'extra-curricular activities'?" Fred laughed.

I laughed. "It made Mione feel less like a rule breaker-Ow! I mean, I love you," I said, rubbing the spot that Mione had hit.

"What do you two call them?" Mione asked, completely ignoring me.

"Masterful Organisations of Pure Awesomeness, of course," they chorused.

"Of course," Remus said, as if it were obvious.

"_**Dear Mr. Potter,**_

_**We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.**_

_**Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.**_

_**Yours sincerely,**_

_**Minerva McGonagall,**_

_**Deputy Headmistress**_

**Questions exploded inside Harry's head like fireworks and he couldn't decide which to ask first. After a few minutes he stammered, "What does it mean, they await my owl?"**

"_That's_ your first question?" Sirius asked, "not _hey, magic really exists_?"

**"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand to his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl – a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl -a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down-"**

"Skills," George said, bumping my fist with his.

"_**Dear Professor Dumbledore, **_

_**Given Harry his letter.**_

_**Taking him to buy his things tomorrow.**_

_**Weather's horrible. Hope you're well.**_

_**Hagrid"**_

"Short and sweet," Sirius said cheekily, "so unlike Hagrid."

"**Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door, and threw the owl out into the storm."**

"I remember the first time my owl gave me a letter," Mum said, "it was pouring rain and poor Ophelia comes in sopping wet. Thankfully, someone informed me magical owls were placed on special diets during their younger years, which makes them impervious to these conditions. I nearly had a heart attack."

"**Then he came back and sat down as though this was normal as talking on the telephone.**

**Harry realized his mouth was open and closed it quickly.**

**"Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment, Uncle Vernon, still ashen-faced but looking very angry, moved into the firelight.**

**"He's not going," he said."**

"Like Dursley can stop you-"

"-you're Harry Potter," the Twins said.

"You know you two don't need to reference my name every time you speak," I joked.

"Oh we do, you see-"

"-because as you're the new face of our new line-"

"-we need to test out certain taglines and phrases-"

"-to decide which achieves our purpose-"

"-hence names like A-Starry-Eyed-Harry-Potter-"

"-and Mr-Pessimistic-Potter," they finished, looking at each other before nodding.

"I think that was the longest situation of fully connected twin speak I have ever heard," was all Remus said.

"**Hagrid grunted. "I'd like ter see a great Muggle like you stop him," he said.**

**"A what?" said Harry, interested.**

**"A Muggle," said Hagrid, "it's what we call nonmagic folk like them. An' it's your bad luck you grew up in family o' the biggest Muggles I ever laid eyes on."**

"Now that's a little brash," Mione interjected, "Muggles aren't the problem. These people were racist."

**"We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"**

"Not only racist, but just plain stupid," Sirius said, shaking his head, "as if you can 'stamp out' someone's magic."

"And Petunia should know better," Mum said, "she seems to be pleading ignorance about a lot of this, but her purposely playing dumb is simply vindictive."

**"You **_**knew**_**?" said Harry. "You **_**knew**_** I'm a – a wizard?"**

**"Knew!" shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. "**_**Knew**_**! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was?"**

"Someone's still jealous," Fred said.

"**Oh, she got her letter just like that and disappeared off to that – that **_**school**_** – and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats."**

"But you shouldn't be doing magic out of school, Lilykins," Sirius said, an evil grin on his face as he turned towards Mum.

"We aren't allowed to use our wands, you mean," Mum said sheepishly, "our wands have the trace. If we don't use them, the Ministry don't actually know when magic is being performed. And if you use your mother's wand within your own home, they won't realise its you either."

"The wand part I get, but how do you do wandless magic?" Sirius asked in wonder.

"How did you achieve accidental magic?" Mum asked wryly, "I simply took that and practised. It was really hard at first though."

Remus nodded. "It would be. We use wands because it is easier for us to channel our magic through that."

Mione concurred with them both, adding, "Wandless magic is just an extension of that. If you learn to channel your magic, then it becomes the same as using your wand."

"Which it is," Mum said.

"**I was the only one who saw her for what she was – a freak!"**

My grasp on Mione's hand tightened, and she squeezed back as she leaned into me, silently offering her support, for which I was grateful.

"**But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!" She stopped to draw a deep breath and then went ranting on. It seemed she had been wanting to say all this for years."**

Mum laughed humorlessly. "And she probably had. She and Vernon never communicated with each other, even then. I think she settled."

**"Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as – as – **_**abnormal**_** – and then, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you."**

**Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, "Blown up? You told me they died in a car crash!"**

"What's a car?" Dad asked.

"It's a moving compartment

**"CAR CRASH!" roared Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crash kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"**

"Damn, what I wouldn't give for fame," Sirius said, a little enviously.

I laughed. "Fame is fickle Padfoot. It can turn on you as quickly as it goes in your favour."

**"But why? What happened?" Harry asked urgently.**

**The anger faded from Hagrid's face. He looked suddenly anxious. "I never expected this," he said, in a low worried voice. "I had no idea, when Dumbledore told me there might be trouble gettin' hold of yeh, how much yeh didn't know. Ah, Harry, I don' know if I'm the right person ter tell yeh – but someone's gotta – yeh can't go off ter Hogwarts not knowin'."**

"That would've been horrible!" Mione gasped.

I shook my head. "I was awkward as is."

"Just imagine what would've happened-"

"-if you didn't know the significance of your name," the Twins agreed.

**He threw a dirty look at the Dursleys. "Well, it's best yeh know as much as I can tell yeh – mind, I can't tell yeh everythin' it's a great myst'ry, parts of it..." He sat down, stared into the fire for a few seconds, and then said, "It begins, I suppose, with – with a person called – but it's incredible yeh don't know his name, everyone in our world knows -"**

"Hagrid's great at telling you nothing," Sirius said with a grin.

**"Who?"**

**"Well – I don' like sayin' the name if I can help it. No one does."**

**"Why not?"**

"You are very inquisitive," Mum said with a grin, "I think it's a good thing. You don't learn anything without the want."

I smiled. "I was taught by the woman I love." Mione smiled at me, giving my hand a squeeze.

**"Gulpin' gargoyles, Harry, people are still scared. Blimey, this is difficult. See, there was this wizard who went... bad. As bad as you could go. Worse. Worse than worse. His name was..." Hagrid gulped, but no words came out.**

**"Could you write it down?" Harry suggested.**

**"Nah – can't spell it. All right – **_**Voldemort**_**." Hagrid shuddered. "Don' make me say it again. Anyway, this – this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin' fer followers. Got' em, too – some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o' his power, ' cause he was gettin' himself power, all right."**

"And now, this is all happening for the first time," Dad said, "no one knows what to do. Everyone is looking to Bagnold for help, and all she can do is ask Dumbledore for advice. I think we need a new Minister."

Mione, in a rare moment, snorted in derision. "Don't be so sure. The Minister after Millicent Bagnold was Cornelius Fudge, who is probably the-"

"-most pompous prick-"

"-to ever disgrace the British magical community," the Twins interjected.

Mione shrugged, not denying anything. "Not the words I would've used, but basically."

"**Dark days, Harry. Don't know who ter trust, didn't dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches... terrible things happened. He was takin' over. 'Course, some stood up to him – an' he killed 'em. Horribly. One o' the only safe places left was Hogwarts. Reckon Dumbledore's the only one You-Know-Who was afraid of. Didn't dare try takin' the school, not jus' then, anyway."**

"That's because Albus gets nasty when you threaten his students," Remus said with a smirk.

"**Now, yer mum an' dad were as good a witch an' wizard as I ever knew. Head boy an' girl at Hogwarts in their day!"**

"Always knew you'd be the one to betray us James," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Hang on a second, you always said it'd be Remus," Dad said.

"While normally I would object," Remus said, inserting himself into the conversation, "I have to agree with Prongs. I think you both had a betting pool running about when I was going to turn to the "dark side"," he said, air-quoting 'dark side'.

"**Suppose the myst'ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get' em on his side before... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin' ter do with the Dark Side. Maybe he thought he could persuade 'em... maybe he just wanted 'em outta the way. "**

Mum and Dad shared a look between them, before sharing another look with Remus and Sirius. "I'm not sure if the four of you know," Mum said to Mione, the Twins and I, "but at the end of the last year James and I met-"

"-and held off-" Sirius interjected.

"-the Dark Lord. We did survive, but there was a lot of taunting, especially on your fathers part," Mum said.

"Pot, meet kettle," Dad said sarcastically.

"Well, that must have been the first," Mione said.

I nod. "You guys meet Voldemort twice more, and survive."

"**All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Halloween ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an' – an' -" Hagrid suddenly pulled out a very dirty, spotted handkerchief and blew his noise with a sound like a foghorn."**

"Never knew Hagrid liked us so much," Dad said, laughing slightly.

**"Sorry," he said. "But it's that sad – knew yer mum an' dad, an' nicer people yeh couldn't find – anywa..."**

"See, this is why I love Hagrid," Mum said with a watery smily.

**"You-Know-Who killed 'em. An' then – an' this is the real myst'ry of the thing – he tried to kill you, too. Wanted ter make a clean job of it, I suppose, or maybe he just liked killin' by then. But he couldn't do it. Never wondered how you got that mark on yer forehead? That was no ordinary cut. That's what yeh get when a powerful, evil curse touches yeh – took care of yer mum an' dad an' yer house, even – but it didn't work on you, an' that's why yer famous, Harry."**

"My son survived the killing curse," Dad said, sounding in awe.

"You've been outdone Prongs my man," Sirius said, trying to make a joke of it.

"**No one ever lived after he decided ter kill' em, no one except you, an' he killed some o' the best witches an' wizards of the age – the McKinnons, the Bones, the Prewwtts "**

"So everyone is really gone?" Mum asked, "all our friends?"

The four of us nodded our heads. "I did some research on your connections during school, and from what I understand Fabian and Gideon were the last of your group to die."

The Twins nodded. "Yeah, they passed away a couple of weeks after Voldemort fell."

"So much death," Remus said, shaking his head sadly.

"Hey," I said, interrupting everyone's sadness, "that's why we're here. To change all of that."

"**-an' you was only a baby, an' you lived." **

**Something very painful was going on in Harry's mind. As Hagrid's story came to a close, he saw again the blinding flash of green light, more clearly than he had ever remembered it before – and he remembered something else, for the first time in his life: a high, cold, cruel laugh."**

"Damn, and you actually remember it," Sirius said, grimacing.

"**Hagrid was watching him sadly.**

**"Took yeh from the ruined house myself, on Dumbledore's orders. Brought yeh ter this lot..."**

**"Load of old tosh," said Uncle Vernon. Harry jumped, he had almost forgotten that the Dursleys were there. Uncle Vernon certainly seemed to have got back his courage. He was glaring at Hagrid and his fists were clenched.**

**"Now, you listen here, boy," he snarled, "I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured"**

"You know, one day we're accidentally going to trip-"

"-and accidentally silently cast a tarantallegra curse-"

"-which will accidentally hit Vernon," the Twins said, sharing a look and shrugging.

"**-and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdoes, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion -asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types – just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end -"**

**But at that moment, Hagrid leapt from the sofa and drew a battered pink umbrella from inside his coat. Pointing this at Uncle Vernon like a sword, he said, "I'm warning you, Dursley – I'm warning you – one more word..."**

"Yes, _finally_!" Sirius cried out in exasperation, "I hope Hagrid cuts off a limb."

"**In danger of being speared on the end of an umbrella by a bearded giant, Uncle Vernon's courage failed again; he flattened himself against the wall and fell silent.**

**"That's better," said Hagrid, breathing heavily and sitting back down on the sofa, which this time sagged right down to the floor.**

**Harry, meanwhile, still had questions to ask, hundreds of them."**

"As you would," Fred said.

"I doubt it'd be an easy thing to accept," added George.

**"But what happened to Vol -, sorry – I mean, You-Know-Who?"**

"Would you listen to that Forge," Fred said incredulously.

"Harry-Potter-Saying-You-Know-Who," George said in the same tone of voice.

"Harry is notorious for telling us off for using that pseudonym," Mione explained to the Marauders and Mum.

**"Good question, Harry. Disappeared. Vanished. Same night he tried ter kill you. Makes yeh even more famous. That's the biggest myst'ry, see… he was gettin' more an' more powerful — why'd he go? Some say he died. Codswallop, in my opinion. Dunno if he had enough human left in him to die.**

**Some say he's still out there, bidin' his time, like, but I don' believe it. People who was on his side came back ter ours. Some of 'em came outta kinda trances. Don' reckon they could've done if he was comin' back."**

"Did Hagrid just contradict himself?" Remus asked.

"**Most of us reckon he's still out there somewhere but lost his powers. Too weak to carry on. 'Cause somethin' about you finished him, Harry. There was somethin' goin' on that night he hadn't counted on — **_**I **_**dunno what it was, no one does — but somethin' about you stumped him, all right."**

"So you really do have powers-"

"-outside the norm, Harry," the Twins said, simultaneously sending me a wink.

"**Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake."**

The Twins heaved a heavy sigh, as if they were disappointed. "He's being Such-A-Harry-Potter," they said.

Mione rolled her eyes. "You know, the two of you will eventually have to stop with those. There are only so many possibilities."

"Don't underestimate us-"

"-and don't tempt us to come out with a whole new line-"

"-of Granger products-"

"-because, actually, we did have-"

"No, I really do not want to know," Mion said, holding up her hand.

"**A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He'd spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn't they been turned into warty toads every time they'd tried to lock him in his cupboard?"**

Mione laughed. "Muggle impressions of wizards and witches are very far off base."

"**If he'd once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?"**

"Maybe because you were too nice," Sirius suggested.

**"Hagrid," he said quietly, "I think you must have made a mistake. I don't think I can be a wizard."**

**To his surprise, Hagrid chuckled. "Not a wizard, eh? Never made things happen when you was scared or angry?"**

**Harry looked into the fire. Now he came to think about it… every odd thing that had ever made his aunt and uncle furious with him had happened when he, Harry, had been upset or angry… chased by Dudley's gang, he had somehow found himself out of their reach… dreading going to school with that ridiculous haircut, he'd managed to make it grow back… and the very last time Dudley had hit him, hadn't he got his revenge, without even realizing he was doing it? Hadn't he set a boa constrictor on him?"**

"Yep," George said, "an 'accident'."

"**Harry looked back at Hagrid, smiling, and saw that Hagrid was positively beaming at him.**

**"See?" said Hagrid. "Harry Potter, not a wizard — you wait, you'll be right famous at Hogwarts."**

"Which I'm sure you'll enjoy, if you're anything like your father," Mum said dryly.

Everyone from the future, bar me, laughed. "Mama P, Harry absolutely hates his fame," Fred said.

"Yeah. We have so many stories of when he came to us complaining about this or that," George added on.

"Oh sod off you two," I said, "I just killed a Dark Lord for you, no biggie."

"**But Uncle Vernon wasn't going to give in without a fight.**

**"Haven't I told you he's not going?" he hissed. "He's going to Stonewall High and he'll be grateful for it. I've read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish — spell books and wands and —"**

"Like I'm not going to leave my son money," Dad said.

**"If he wants ter go, a great Muggle like you won't stop him," growled Hagrid. "Stop Lily an' James Potter's son goin' ter Hogwarts! Yer mad. His name's been down ever since he was born."**

"Does that actually occur?" Sirius said in surprise.

"Your name is automatically assigned to the school of the nation of your birth," Mione explained, "if, however, you migrated permanently to another country before you began school, you would be able to change. And of course, you can always change. But that involves a lot of tedious paperwork, from what I hear."

"**He's off ter the finest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world. Seven years there and he won't know himself. He'll be with youngsters of his own sort, fer a change, an' he'll be under the greatest headmaster Hogwarts ever had Albus Dumbled—"**

**"I AM NOT PAYING FOR SOME CRACKPOT OLD FOOL TO TEACH HIM MAGIC TRICKS!" yelled Uncle Vernon."**

Everyone in the room cringed collectively.

"**But he had finally gone too far. Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER —" he thundered, "— INSULT — ALBUS — DUMBLEDORE — IN — FRONT — OF — ME!" He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley — there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Harry saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers."**

I though I felt the earth shake, the entire room was laughing so hard.

"Priceless," Sirius said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I can't believe we didn't even think of that!" Dad cried out, bursting into a whole new bout of laughter.

"**Uncle Vernon roared. Pulling Aunt Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them.**

**Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.**

**"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."**

"Merlin, I love Hagrid," Fred said, hiccuping a litle as he calmed down.

"**He cast a sideways look at Harry under his bushy eyebrows. "Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm — er — not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get yer letters to yeh an' stuff — one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job."**

**"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.**

**"Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."**

"If ever a man was devoted to someone, it was Hagrid to Albus," Remus said, chuckling.

**"Why were you expelled?"**

**"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that."**

**He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry. "You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' doormice in one o' the pockets."**

Dad closes the book, laughing. "It's amazing you survived the mice," he said, "dangerous stuff."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Hilarious. Now give me the book."

"Because we've never heard those words before," Sirius muttered, causing Remus to hit him over the head with said book.

**Just in case anyone was wondering, I just counted and I have 7 of Fred and George's "Harry Potter Labels" in here...I feel like that's a lot...but, from an inside perspective, I think someone should keep track. I may just invent a new character in a story if you can name them all throughout the series...**

**Uh, heads up though, there's about 500...give or take...**


End file.
